Today, our daughter threatened to throw us out if her mom asked about having children again. My wife is completely unable to control herself, and lasted a full 30 seconds before trying to restart the baby conversation. We weren’t just thrown out, she soaked us with the hose all the way to our car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, my girlfriend started coming on to me in the living room early in the morning. Just as things were getting good, her toddler rushed in. Now she's crying in her room, and he won't stop sobbing and asking, "Why was your wee-wee in Mommy's mouth?" FML
Today, I informed my daughter-in-law that I’m a granny, not an unpaid, on-call 24/7 babysitter, and no, I will not be babysitting her kids all day so she can go to an all-day brunch with her similarly selfish girlfriends. She threw an actual tantrum and threatened to put me in a home. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my daughter saw me and my boyfriend making out and tried to separate us because she’s a momma's girl. I thought it was cute and funny, but he yelled at her until she ran back to bed crying. He still thought we were still going to have sex after, because he “got rid of her for you.” DUMPED. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
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Top comments
thatguy8878 14
Your wife deserved it, you might not have.
Crowned Sataness 12
You need to side with your daughter on this and tell your wife to shut up every time she mentions it, in or out of your daughter's presence. She may not want children. She may be struggling to conceive or pregnancy loss. Your daughter is more than an incubator for grand children. You also need to drill it into your wife's head that IF your daughter has children, she is not the parent and doesn't get a say in anything. Because we all know your wife's type, and she's going to cost you your daughter.
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Comments (10)
thatguy8878 14
Your wife deserved it, you might not have.
Iifa 7
Lesson 1 of How to lose adult children 101. Keep pestering them about children, especially considering current state of affairs. I'm sorry you got hosed for being with your wife, unfortunately if you didn't say anything to force mum to shut the topic then the daughter probably felt pressured, and disrespected in her own home. I'd be impressed of you'd get another invitation, and wife should be at this age where she can control herself, and not bring up difficult topics.
slkeithh 14
Your wife CAN help herself, because she's a fully grown adult. She sounds insufferable.
Ubehage 32
Sounds like your wife really wanted a shower. Or, maybe she just doesn't care about other peoples feelings.
Crowned Sataness 12
You need to side with your daughter on this and tell your wife to shut up every time she mentions it, in or out of your daughter's presence. She may not want children. She may be struggling to conceive or pregnancy loss. Your daughter is more than an incubator for grand children. You also need to drill it into your wife's head that IF your daughter has children, she is not the parent and doesn't get a say in anything. Because we all know your wife's type, and she's going to cost you your daughter.
poopface82 25
Maybe start trying to visit solo, and if your wife interferes, maybe promote her to ex-wife.
Hangryko 32
Your daughter has my deepest sympathies having such a narcissistic mother. Your wife needs to control herself and realize she is not owed grandchildren. Your daughter didn't ask to be here and has no obligation to procreate in this screwed up world that you both brought her into. Visit your daughter without her from now on before she kicks you out of her life with your wife.
Brightside86 31
Your daughter sounds awesome.
ass 11
Society is collapsing and your wife is worried about grandkids? Is she hoping for fodder to feed to the war machine? I'd say that's a good way to alienate your daughter.