Today, one of my employees was a few minutes late without notice. I asked in the work group chat, “How are you gonna take a shift and not show up for it?” She responded with, “How are you gonna talk shit about your baby mama and then get her pregnant again?” I’ve never fired anyone so fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got fired for not being mature enough. I just found out I’m pregnant. FML
Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employees decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML
Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML
Today, a furious woman stormed into my job, demanding to know why I fired her precious baby boy. I explained that watching porn on the clock is grounds for termination. She screamed that I was lying about him and that she’ll see me in court for slandering him. I had to call the cops to make her leave. FML
Today, I found out my boss was quiet-firing me on purpose. Apparently, his daughter who works at this same company is pregnant now and needs a promotion. I have a Master’s and have been here for 9 years. She dropped out of college because it was “too hard” and the other day she put a metal spoon in the microwave. FML
Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I was fired. FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he found out I'm dating his daughter. Now I'm concerned what he might do if he finds out she's pregnant with my child. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
spinningrecords 14
Way to go, reprimand employees in private… unless you are a jerk.
cuz803 46
Ydi you jerk. What goes around comes around.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
cuz803 46
Ydi you jerk. What goes around comes around.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Looks like you got managed. Karma's a b!tch.
RichardPencil 32
Is she your baby mama, or does she know about your sordid dark side? Firing people who know your secrets is pretty stupid.
spinningrecords 14
Way to go, reprimand employees in private… unless you are a jerk.
Chazzster 32
It all depends on if OP is actually the former employee’s “baby daddy” or if she just said that to embarrass OP. Given that OP fired her, I assume he’s not actually her “baby daddy” and frankly she deserved being fired for that if that’s the case.
Anderling 33
What makes you think the employee was talking about herself and not speaking in general about OP knocking up another woman?
Beackers675 13
Okay, well then you'd better keep this same energy if/when you get fired for something trivial. Managers shouldn't be shit talking their employees, and if they are, then they better be able to take the heat. If you can't take back what you dish out, then quit serving it. Being a petty baby and firing someone for saying something they didn't like, in response to something they instigated, is where the real unprofessionalism lies.
SJKatt 15
Nah. OP lets his mouth get him into trouble by letting his employees hear about his personal life, and then reprimanded one of them for basically nothing. She didn't deserve to be fired OR reprimanded.
hello423 2
i pray to every god imaginable that she sues you for wrongful termination. ydi.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
She was late to work and when called on it answered back to her boss instead of explaining when she'd be in. She's not going to win that case.
SJKatt 15
I mean she's right. "A few minutes late" lmao. I hope all of your employees also deliver a savage burn before leaving what, I assume is, a crap place to work if you get told off over a few minutes.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So, is she your baby mama? Are you married to someone else and she's a side chick? Did you get her pregnant again? We need more context on this one. But either way, way, why would you reprimand any employee in a work group chat? That, like the baby mama thing, is something best done in private.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Given the baby mama thing, I'm gonna assume you're just a ********. Even if tardiness was a regular occurrence with her, or if she was late to something important, absolutely no reason to do that to her in a group chat. Do it in private.