Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML
Today, after two months of being teased by my friends for getting wasted and passing out from only one shot, I learned that I wasn't actually too weak to handle the alcohol. My "friends" had secretly laced my drink with sleeping pills. They're now teasing me for believing them. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Alup132 22
Your roommates may be tricking you as a joke to see if you'll fall for it, or because your reactions are funny. On the other hand, sleep medicine and lack of sleep can both make someone do things absentmindedly. Combine them, you might as well be drunk.
RichardPencil 32
You're lucky they didn't take a video and post it on the internet Tonight, they'll be prepared.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
Alup132 22
Your roommates may be tricking you as a joke to see if you'll fall for it, or because your reactions are funny. On the other hand, sleep medicine and lack of sleep can both make someone do things absentmindedly. Combine them, you might as well be drunk.
RichardPencil 32
You're lucky they didn't take a video and post it on the internet Tonight, they'll be prepared.
liinkinparkfan97 34
At least they let you know about it instead of posting videos or something online. But that sucks OP, keep looking though. I'm sure there's something out there that will help you get some sleep without making you act out!
RememberSchlitz 9
10 hours before sleep: no caffeine 2 hours before sleep: no food 1 hour before sleep: no backlit screens 30 min before sleep: no sounds over normal conversation sound levels 10 min before sleep: bathroom, then glass of water 5 min before sleep: get in bed and adjust covers/pillows To sleep: lie still and release muscle tension. Close your eyes. Slow your breathing. Concentrate on the muscles in the small toe of your left foot. Actively relax those muscles, feel them relax. Take your time. Got it? Good. Now leave that toe relaxed and move on to the next toe. And the next. Now the rest of the toes, and the rest of the foot, one muscle at a time. Now the left ankle. Now the right toes, foot and ankle. Feel each muscle and let it relax. Left lower leg, left upper leg. Right lower leg, right upper leg. Pelvis, back to front. Lower back, abs, upper back, chest. Left fingers/hand/wrist, right fingers/hand/wrist. Left lower and upper arm, right lower and upper arm. Shoulders, back to front. Neck. Jaw. Face. Scalp. Now you are asleep, and you probably have been since you were relaxing one of your lower legs. I rarely make it past both feet. Works WAY better than sleeping pills.
Bliepje 22
i do this when im restless. always works :)
Dat_Class_Tho 26
I'm not sure if your pill was prescription or not, but definitely tell your doctor what happened. When you have severe insomnia, the wrong medication can cause weird "sleep walking" states as a side effect. But you do a lot more than just walking. One person I knew got prescribed ambien, sleep walked outside in his pajamas at 2am, got into his car and tried to drive to work. I say "tried" because he crashed into a telephone pole. Woke up in the hospital with 4 broken bones and zero memory of what happened.
tantanpanda 26
Are you on ambien? I hear it has side effects such as loss of memory, but you're still conscious. This happens if you don't go to sleep right after.
jk_waks23 19
Your insomnia could be because of varied reasons and I don't think you should rely on a sleeping pill. But apart from that yeah at least they didn't post a video to embarrass you or something. Right?
KillerKeemstar 7
I agree with #1, but sometimes sleeping pills might have the opposite effect. The first time I took a sleeping pill (OTC, recommended but not perscribed by my doctor) I only got 30 minutes of sleep. When? When I should have been getting ready to leave for school. Like #1 said, they may be tricking you, but try it another night and if you don't get any sleep, talk to your doctor.
cazza3 15
It can be a side effect of Zolpidem (ambien, stilnox) some people have this reaction and others don't. Temazapam can be a better sedative option or Melatonin to get back into a good sleep pattern.
naivemisanthrope 4
This is why my go-to cure for insomnia is actual alcohol. 3-5 shots get me a few hours of restless sleep; one sleeping pill leaves me stumbling, muzzy-headed, and dizzy for at least 24 hours, and I still feel tired.