Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
outoftown 27
Insist on a DNA paternity test before any legal commitment to the child and to a woman this dishonest.
duude989 7
Thats a pretty good idea.
sailorarctic 22
I call shenanigans. Unless your girlfriend is catholic and has been living under a rock every woman knows what a man means when they ask if she's on "the pill"
kitcatjb 12
I'm sorry to say this, but she probably did it on purpose.
sagemarie209 12
Wow congrats, weird she didn't realize you meant birth control, you should of said birth control to her to be sure.
sagemarie209 12
Is she young? This screams either being young and not taught about the birds and the bees, that she wanted to get pregnant, or she is not that bright. Sorry op! Congrats though.
thundermoo 16
Well, that's what you get for leaving the birth control up to someone else. Now you get to take responsibility for not wearing a condom. YDI as she didn't get herself pregnant.
IBGalaxy 3
idiots.
jenna5960 7
I cannot believe that everyone is blaming the woman. The man decided not to protect himself so it's his own fault. Birth control isn't always very effective for those who are clueless.
limabeans101029 21
To be fair, it is mostly her fault. For one thing, it was pretty dumb of her to think he meant hay fever tablets when he said "the pill" but I can kind of see how she might make that mistake. But then she didn't make any effort to protect herself either- surely when they started having sex she should've thought "hey we're not using birth control" and done something about it. I agree that it wasn't a good idea for OP not to take extra precautions but he thought that she was on the pill, and the pill is over 99% effective when used properly. So yeah, he should've been more careful but I think the blame does rest mostly on the woman in this case.
OzzyTheGiant 14
not sure whether to say congrats or shoulda planned this out better
SophieEM 4
But 4 months ago it was the middle of winter so she wouldn't even be on a hay fever tablet cos u can't get hay fever in winter...
RabbitOfAurora 28
Sorry OP, I vote YDI. If you're not ready for a kid you should be using condoms 100% of the time, even if she is on the pill because A) the pill doesn't protect against STDs and B) The pill is only mostly effective if you use it correctly. Even then things like the time you take it (if you're late/early or miss a day) and some medications can affect it.