Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
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Comments (144)
Rayth 19
It never hurts to use both forms of protection OP
katlyzt 1
would just like to add that this FML does not talk about when the girlfriend said she was on the pill (misunderstanding that it was the hay fever pill or lying about it non-withstanding)...what if it was in the middle of a conversation about random medicines that they took? or directly following a conversation about hay fever?if it was right before, during, or after sex then yeah she is lying...but that information is not given...so why the vilification? also...i conceived two children while taking the pill religiously and using additional methods of birth control including the morning after pill, but not condoms...safe to say my husband and i use condoms as well now and have had no more such incidents (btw we are happily married and wanted children, we were just going to wait a bit longer) i was told that the percentages are only for the typical female body, and some people have a higher tolerance to hormonal shifts... especially anyone that has ever been on any kind of hormone replacement or altering medication.
mclovin22897 15
There is only one question left..... boy or girl?
mellowmeoww 5
daaammnn yo
titoski 5
should had still wore a rubber smart
Libbiey 6
Was it news to you that she's also a moron? Because I feel like that's something that should have already been assessed, so you would know how specific you would need to be...
Jazmine1423 9
She knew damn well what you meant- you got conned, OP. Good luck
lilchica22001 22
That poor kid...he/she is gonna have to wear a helmet.
blackcatgirl46 21
Oh Boy!
MuZiiK_ 8
Being a fathers not a bad thing..when your child gets older do you think he like to see a post in the internet his dad saying FML to his birth ?