Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the colleague who I’ve been secretly fucking told me she was pregnant. She’d lied about being on birth control. She’s mad at me because I told her to get rid of it and is giving me the silent treatment. You know who else is gonna be mad? My wife. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
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Top comments
maverick83 15
So you cheated on your wife and you're upset the woman you cheated with lied to you. 🤣
idragosani 17
Play with fire, you'll burn your fingers.
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Comments (16)
maverick83 15
So you cheated on your wife and you're upset the woman you cheated with lied to you. 🤣
idragosani 17
Play with fire, you'll burn your fingers.
historygrad74 19
Sounds like I hear karma.
Thaylok 17
I'm Mr. cynical... Is this a pot stirring post? if not, then good thing the stirrer got to lick the spoon.
copalolita 16
As a tip: Just one birth control pill doesn’t take effect. You have to be consistent with your pill for some time for it to be effective. 🤦🏻♀️ Not only is it a shame that you betrayed your own family but you were gullible enough to believe just one little pill will prevent the strongest sperm from getting to the egg. (unless its the morning after pill which has about a 95% success rate) YDI!!!!!!!!
49_Donuts 15
Sounds like you’ve got child support AND alimony payments in your future.
Wadlaen 24
How come the bitch knows you have a wife and kids but it seems like you at some point forgot? Congratulations sir, you've got exactly what you deserved!
vikirosecamel 21
That's what you get for being a POS
Crowned Sataness 12
HAD a wife and kids. Lied to your wife and now side chick lied to you. sucks don't it? now you're baby trapped, and it all just might be your fault
jlc82 14
no might be's or maybes to it...it's 100% his fault
Puruttya 6
you have to devise a plan how you will introduce wifey2 to wifey1 and kids without a divorce. maybe she will firgive you somehow.