Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
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Comments (144)
MikeyScene420 17
I hope the baby has your brain and not hers. Good luck lol
mkayden 23
Even though it's a bit of a dumb misunderstanding from her side, you should've covered the stump before you humped. Congratulations btw!
InnocentWings 13
YDI for not clarifying and for depending on the pills. They're not always reliable.
limabeans101029 21
When someone you're going to have sex with asks if you're "on the pill", I don't see how you could misinterpret that in any way. Also, no forms of birth control are 100% reliable so even if they were using condoms as well you could say exactly the same thing. The pill is over 99% effective if taken properly anyway so surely you can see why some people choose to rely on it.
ChakatBlackstar 29
I sure hope your kids have your brains and not hers.
itcomesinthrees 10
Why didn't she tell you to wear a condom if she knew she wasn't on birth control pills? Even with the misunderstanding didn't it click in her head "hey, we aren't using any birth control here"..?
Fmlsea 28
Because she probably wanted to trap him into staying with her by having a baby.its sad but its not the first time something like this has happened on fml .
Ashley868 10
You should have used a condom anyway, but she must be an idiot. Everyone knows that "the pill" means birth control. It makes me think you two must be really young. No adult woman is that dumb.
geoforce 6
yea, people usually confuse "the pill" for fever tablets....common mistake. ..
Greenbear118 5
That's terrible OP. When you ask a woman you're about to have sex with "are you on the pill?" there's only one pill you could possibly be taking about. To me she sounds a bit like the crazy kind of woman who wants to trap a man in a relationship with her by having a baby. She lied to you about being in the pill. I wonder what else she lied about? Oh and forget these knuckle heads that keep saying "oh he should have used a condom!" you never even said if you did or did not wear one in the post. So you very well could have been using one. Just in case you weren't though, you should definitely wear those suckers before getting it on.
mkcherry 14
I would never trust a girl to take birth control and not use condoms unless I wanted kids with her and we were married. Most of the women I know who got pregnant on birth control took it haphazardly or missed a pill now and then like it was no big deal and then act shocked when they turn up pregnat.
mkcherry 14
And If she's old enough and sexually active she probably knew exactly what you meant and deceived you. She must have figured you'd be a decent guy and take care of her "accident". You should be a good parent to the innocent child but id be pissed at the girl. use condoms!!!!