Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
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Comments (144)
Stuffaluffagus 25
Congratulations, you're dating a moron
Vitotaylor36 13
Ydi for not being smart enough to wrap it.
DylanHasClass 17
That's a keeper
heff123456 2
Dude. Run.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Guess some people don't worry about STD's, just unwanted pregnancy. Trust mongers sicken me, YDI Op.
TheDrifter 24
If you're particular about partners or get both parties tested before and after changing sexual partners stds aren't a major concern, so a 99 percent effective method of birth control seems quite reasonable to many, regardless of which partner is in charge of it. People who would violate that trust disgust me.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
I am a firm believer in blood tests before intimacy, I believe it is a fact that people will cheat if the offer is appealing enough. With that initial blood test also keep in mind that Aids will take a few months after the fact to show up on a blood test. It's always better to play it safe. Trust is an unreliable form of protection.
Shade1982 21
I'd hate to be your girlfriend if you don't trust her...
cheeseygeek 12
Gonna be some excellent smart genes there!
ItsEdd 9
That's why you got to wrap it up.
kder0aeon 9
What are you four? you always protect yourself no matter what. anyways congrats.
kiaora_fml 11
I would be very careful with this one, sounds to me and everyone else here, that she faked the whole pill thing and the blamed the 'mistake' on you for misunderstanding. She knew exactly what you meant when you asked if she was on the pill, sounds like she wanted a baby and tricked you into thinking that she wont get pregnant. The pill isn't foolproof and I have known a couple of male friends who got trapped this way. (I am female and their girlfriends/wives 'forgot' the pill)It does happen and the pill isn't 100% protection either against pregnancy In future insist on condoms(use your own) or get a reversible vasectomy (look it up, its available now) There are lying people out there, men or women who want babies and will prick the condom, be very careful(I remember years ago a mate of mine noticed his condoms were compromised). It does take 2 to tango but what this woman did is horrible and if you decide on having a relationship with your childs mother than protect yourself against future 'accidents' if she does it this time she might do it again! Personally I have been on implanon since the birth of our youngest just over 4yrs ago and I am on implanon, I have not been pregnant that entire time and you can feel it so she cannot exactly hide it if she gets the implant removed. Tough lesson to be learnt and I feel sorry for you OP, goodluck for the future, sorry for the rant but just want the best for you even if I don't know you, you girlfriend made me real mad as hell and stories like this make me cranky.
Lman21 1
Grab a brain. USE A CONDOM! Birth control is not effective enough! If u don't want babies, wrap ur wang. pretty simple I think....