Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Why not just switch seat, or stand up? Can't be that hard if he was so bad.
rbalboa76 5
"Nuttier than Ron Jeremy's nut sack." Best analogy ever!
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Comments (60)
pureportedpear 27
Why not just switch seat, or stand up? Can't be that hard if he was so bad.
SAspring 17
This comment is really all that is needed.
JonDG 12
I agree. Although I voted that their life sucks, they kind of deserved it for not being smart enough to move away.
JBChristian 47
You can vote for both.
TheCanucklehead 22
Could've been a packed bus.
ThatOneGuy719 16
The only question I have is how she knows how nutty Ron Jeremy's sac is..
TiiBags 15
If not you could always get off as if it's your stop and get on the next one. If someone was that creepy, I would.
MrsDruidess 23
even if the bus was full, get up and move away or just say something! at best start fake coughing without covering your mouth, people even the crazy ones will tend to move away. I voted both cause while it was creepy and sad, OP could have done something to make him stop.
Dusk_Shores 9
If you take into consideration the fact that OP was probably on a crowded bus (though this isn't definite; some people get REALLY chummy on buses) then she didn't really have anywhere to go. For someone to be able to sit next to her, she'd have to be sat in the window seat, and so if someone were to sit next to her, the only way to get past the crazy meth-head would be to jump through the window, otherwise she'd end up risking him doing something worse than picking at her hair.
DanielleinDC 34
I would have STOOD rather than sit next to someone who made me this uncomfortable. Heck, if it's that bad, I'd consider getting off and catching the next bus. But where I live, there are fairly frequent buses. If the buses don't run well in Florida (and I grew up in Orlando, land of the hourly buses), OP may not have much of a choice.
random_cashmere 25
At least he was not touching you awkwardly...
Welshite 40
"...picked at my hair." I think that could be considered touching.
JBChristian 47
And definitely awkward.
Shelly_Kelly 6
well if he's cute or attractive I don't think OP would mind. If he's cute I would be flattered.
TheAbstract 15
Did you not read OPs description of this character?
Welshite 40
"...face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen." Maybe I should just quote the entire FML.
euphoricness 28
What are you guys talking about? OP has described what society needs in a man. GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!!!
Drag0nb0rn 22
Nice double standards. If an unattractive man finds you attractive it's creepy and you should be disgusted, if an attractive man finds you attractive you should be flattered.
glabberfasted 16
30 - It's more what he does, rather than being unattractive. Plus, drug use itself is unattractive to most people. Have you seen meth mouth? It's ******* disgusting, and a turn off in itself, no matter what the person looks like. Attractive people can be creepy too, it all depends on how they act on their attraction.
random_cashmere 25
But, was he touching OP's hair, but not in an awkward place, like her boobs. If OP asked him to stop, and he kept doing it for at least five seconds, it is considered rape.
cook4money 9
Touching someones hair is not rape. Get a grip on reality.
OysterPearls 33
45, Why does it matter where he was touching her? He's a stranger and no consent whatsoever was given for him to put his hands on her. Being female, I would expect you to sympathize with her plight (not to insinuate that men are not also harassed similarly).
EverestMelting 23
Yell, "Assault!" And proceed to run around screaming while the problem still doesn't seem to be solved.
rbalboa76 5
"Nuttier than Ron Jeremy's nut sack." Best analogy ever!
uoeno_fml 20
TIL who Ron Jeremy is. Thanks google images
Coryj1220 15
I love the ******* word choice in this. Haha
jellybeens_fml 16
The real question is how does OP know how nutty Ron Jeremy's nut sack is?
martin8337 36
Watching ****.
PancakeSlap 23
Stranger Danger!
KingLewisII 34
I need an adult
worldclassrager 41
That must have been one full bus since you couldn't move unless he went crazy if you tied
Flowtastic 16
Why didn't you just bring it to the drivers attention that you were being assaulted/harassed and have him removed?
weveallbeenthere 30
why not just stand up or go to another seat. YDI.....
oddities 20
The bus could've been full or maybe OP tried and the guy got crazier or maybe OP was paralyzed by fear. I would probably be pretty freaked out in that situation too.
VitalDistance 14
I would've knocked the guy out if he started picking at my hair. Never touch a guys hair.....
AviKerensky 17
I'm a former city transit bus driver. If someone is actually bothering you, including invasion of personal space, or causing a danger (Mental OR physical) to anyone on the bus, tell the driver. S/he is obligated to fix the problem up to and including calling the police to have the offender removed. If the driver does not rectify the situation, make a note of the bus number (Usually four digits painted on the outside), and the time of day. Contact the company and make a formal complaint.
MrBlackledge 12
For once there is actually a comment with some sound advice