Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
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Top comments
97mailo 17
And this is what’s wrong with our sex ed classes. Instead of trying to scare students we should educate them on how to use birth control
RichardPencil 32
I’m so sorry! You’re going to have a stupid kid. You may not be stupid, but stupidity is a dominant trait and your girlfriend is overflowing with it!
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Comments (54)
97mailo 17
And this is what’s wrong with our sex ed classes. Instead of trying to scare students we should educate them on how to use birth control
JulietMarie 30
This has nothing to do with sex ed and everything to do with her being stupid. Not only would the prescribing doctor tell her how to use it and the proper dosage, but it would all be written on the package as well. She obviously just doesn’t know how to listen and follow directions.
joeyl1990 28
I don't think this is Sex Eds fault
devi_916 39
The doctor also explains how to use birth control when you first get it. I feel this person has either an attention or retention problem.
thatslifeiguess7 16
They haven't had real sex ed classes in years! its about abstaining from sex nothing else
Venom1999 19
That's not true. I had Health my sophomore year and, yes they did teach us abstinence, but they also taught several forms of birth control.
Platinum1Vortex 4
Learning to read also help as there are instruction on boxes yea
QueenAfrodite 8
That’s not a sex Ed issue. That’s a the dumbass didn’t pay attention issue. You have numerous forms of birth control including placing contraceptives in the ******. Trust me her doctor told her ass it was oral. They have to.
RichardPencil 32
I’m so sorry! You’re going to have a stupid kid. You may not be stupid, but stupidity is a dominant trait and your girlfriend is overflowing with it!
Yudith 28
Come on! Stupidity is not like slanted eyes. It's more like hair color; your child gets a bit of his mother's side and a bit of his father's side and the dominant trait means he gets a bigger bit, that's all. Also, contrary to hair color, you actually have an influence on your child's stupidity.
RichardPencil 32
“Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.”
WhatHappenedToIt 22
the package usually says take orally once a day... wtf is wrong with her haha but it is possible to get pregnant on the pill while taking it correctly. it's how I ended up with my son, turned out that my body was adjusting to it and i had to find a new form if i hadn't had become pregnant haha
David Horgan 8
orificly?.....
WhatHappenedToIt 22
What?
boopingsnoot 25
I once had an orthopedic nurse ask if I took my bc implant "by mouth EVERY day" and her eyes bugged out when I lifted my arm and wiggled it around under the skin with the opposite hand.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
hahahhahahahha
boopingsnoot 25
I've heard of gals thinking Nuvaring acts as a bracelet (it is inserted vaginally) and I can't help but wonder who to blame: doctor using too technical terms, or patient with some sort of word-processing barrier
WhatHappenedToIt 22
moat likely dumb drs rushing to get to the next patient and patients not being comfortable enough to ask questions or their drs will scoff at them. lots of drs are douches.
QueenAfrodite 8
Nope it’s the idiot who didn’t listen. Even with paragard that they insert you get a damn pamphlet. So even if the doctor was dumb enough to potentially get a lawsuit for not explaining how it worked you get a pamphlet. And what idiot gets on birth control without researching it first. Ignorance is a choice.
clair_brodie 35
Sounds like she is too young to be having sex.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
stupidity doesn't have an age.
Mungolikecandy 19
I gather it was not her intellect which attracted you?
adventureinthesea 14
I... hope that's not dangerous?
Dave_Davington 34
I'm not sure what exactly you're asking.
adventureinthesea 14
She literally shoved pills up her ******.... That doesn't sound healthy to the ****** in the slightest.
dedanjel 33
They probably fall out during the day and she doesn't even notice. I mean, she is stupid enough to not see the BY MOUTH part of the instructions that get printed on the damn thing when you pick it up from the pharmacy.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Why do I get the feeling that your gf is 'MURICAN?
Inkoseh 33
Or probably a young teen like the majority are on this site...Kids are retarded. I came to the US from Canada, sex ed can suck from any school. And some doctors don't think they need to say "swallow" for a pill. Mine never had my entire life, just prescribed and reminded to not skip! Happens in the UK too!
Arashikage 18
Why do I get the feeling you're a complete idiot
QueenAfrodite 8
What happened to parents teaching kids about sex. Please stop blaming sex Ed ppl. Your parents ******* failed you. You should have gotten a thorough run down from mum and dad.
dedanjel 33
It's a massive failure to educate from both sides. Parents don't check the sex ed curriculum, usually. They're just grateful to someone else for having the birds and bees chats for them. They chose to blindly trust the school, so they fail. And too many schools teach abstinence only, skimming over or completely neglecting to educate on the topics that matter. Which is why schools that teach safe sex actually have lower pregnancy rates than those who think they hold the moral high ground by only teaching abstinence. TL;DR schools suck at teaching sex ed. Parents suck at checking what their kids are being taught and filling in the gaps.
withered 30
Seems fake. Pills (any, not just contraceptives) come with instruction on how to use them + her doctor would have told her how and when to take them. The whole point of contraception pills is not getting pregnant and when you don't want that you DO read instruction and everything because you want to make sure you use them properly.
mssileas 25
I wanna agree but don't underestimate people's "I do not have to read"-opinions. (Idk why they find it offensive that something would require them to read, but... those people exist. there's also secondary analphabetism and to be fair, I consider myself fairly intelligent and well-educated on sex, but it says - for example - take on the first day of your menstrual cycle. Ok that's great but I wouldn't have known that this meant the first day of my period if I hadn't called my doctor, I would have thought it's the first day after my period. And this is contributed a lot to the fact that even sex ed says "penis goes here and then conception happens unless condom or pill" - but they really don't want to be bothered going into the "gross" details about periods and stuff, so it's lacking at best)