Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
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Comments (144)
Rainhawk94 27
Congratulations
pjsr 33
Congratulations AND make sure you are in charge of the child's education, not his or her mom!
euphoricness 28
Congrats on the baby, 23!
AquaBaby 11
23's profile pic everyone...
Kn0wledge123 21
How is this an FML? Congrats man. You're a dad.
brand125 17
how is this an fml? well its an unplanned pregnany for him, obviously he will (probably) love it and want the baby once its here, but its a life changing thing that takes alot of work...
gjikvtj 18
Might be awkward to tell your kid that they were an accident
mkcontrollers 11
#105. Why would you even post that!!
Wakachulak 22
Yes, the genius that is his mother needs to be offset.
MidnaLink 35
pjsr, love the b-ball belly, but I really hope that's not permanent, or at least a very good use of photoshop.
strike2867 13
So where are you registered?
glabberfasted 16
168 - *facepalm* That's paint...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#168 - Did you really think someone permanently attached a basketball to their belly? Wow...lol.
AnonymousFunFMLs 18
Gyee oops well good luck if she decides to keep the child I hope you'll be there for her, a lot of women are abandoned during pregnancy. Don't make her go through this alone and GOOD LUCK AGAIN!
onlychildFTW 34
If I was him I'd be hoping she gets an abortion. OP probably should have been clearer on what pill he meant though. It doesn't sound like she's all that bright.
cumberbunny 17
An abortion is a huge decision that shouldn't be taken lightly.
outoftown 27
79 - So is having a child. 74 - Don't know why this is voted down. It's spot on.
zBLAKEz 23
Keeping and raising a child when you're not ready for it is also a huge decision. And adoption isn't always the best option because there are already so many kids who live their whole lives in shitty foster care and never even get adopted. Abortion is typically not taken lightly. Nobody ever says "Whoops, I'm pregnant again. Time to get another abortion." Most everyone who gets an abortion takes it very seriously and I think the thing people forget is that it's actually very emotionally challenging for a woman to get an abortion. So when she does it she's very sure about it. They know how serious it is.
Criticalvector 4
OP didn't want a kid that's why he asked her before hand if she was on the pill. Why should he have to pay and take care of a child he didn't want because of her ignorance.
droxursox319 8
Well he decided to have sex with her. Pills fail, condoms break, then what do you do? Be a man and raise the kid. She's still a giant moron, though.
damnit1989 16
Maybe you should've been more specific. And you could use condoms. It never hurts to use both types of contraception. I have to say you deserved it.
crazytwinsmom 25
Exactly, and the pill only protects against pregnancy, not STDs. People need to protect against both.
Adm_Twigs 19
yea clarification helps brother! congratulations! hope you are a good father!
laurenasabutton 26
29, if they were in a monogamous relationship and had been tested beforehand, I doubt STDs were much of a concern.
EmsyyyRose13 24
That's what I thought, too, #3. My boyfriend and I use both just to be sure.
askullnamedbilly 33
Really? If a guy asks a girl that he's having sex with if she's on the pill, there is only one type of pill he's talking about. You're a girl according to your profile, #3, be honest - if anyone asked you if you're on the pill, would there even be the slightest bit of confusion what that person was talking about? Sounds like OP's girlfriend is either a complete airhead or was trying to con him into parenthood.
rocker_chick105 31
100- true but it isn't always 100% effective. Both forms together isn't a bad idea.
askullnamedbilly 33
No form of contraception is 100%, #108. Not even taking the pill AND wearing a condom. Sure, you're increasing your chances, but how much? The pill is already over 99% effective, so putting on a condom on top of that is going to give you what - another 0,1%? Statistically, that's hardly going to make a dent. What condoms are really good at, however, is preventing STDs - so if you and your partner have not been tested and are not monogamous, you should definitely wear them. In a commited relationship, the pill is absolutely enough, and every girl old enough to have sex knows what the pill IS. You absolutely cannot blame OP for thinking a less than one percent chance of knocking her up was good enough.
crazytwinsmom 25
@70, there's no mention of monogamy or prior testing in the FML.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
If these people are old enough to be having sex, then the girl should know what is meant by 'the pill.' Jesus, hay fever pill? It sounds to me that she either wanted a child or is way too stupid to be having sex in the first place.
FML64128 7
Actually 115, the failure rate of both a condom and birth control pills are .01%. That being said, the failure of a condom is independent of Everett the birth control would fail, so the probabilities are multiplicative and thus the probability of both failing is .01% times .01% = 1 in 1 million.
littlem91 29
I've always heard condoms are "Up to" 99% effective if used properly, some studies have suggested less real world safety, most pills are 99.5%-99.9% if used properly in test subjects, but in real life where hormones may not be perfect (studies they check before), and people may not take it exactly on time (even an hour out can effect in some cases, to a tiny degree but still), realistically you should work on 99% for the pill. If you can have one a (hormonal) IUD is 99.9% effective or more, but of course women have gotten pregnant on them.
brenton490 19
Could be a trapper some women like to use child support on them selves and minor amount on the child. Make sure that baby is getting proper care
Harpy20 24
Just fyi, antibiotics can cause birth control to fail as well. Many people have no idea.
Fmlsea 28
seriously have you read half of the fmls on here??? about people finding out that they had an std because their partner cheated on them and they had no idea . it happens so its best to use both just in case anyway.
Fmlsea 28
most antibiotics now have a sticker put on the box , because of this stuff happening so much so unless they cant read , they would know the pill is not effect when on antibiotics.
Harpy20 24
226: People don't even read the terms and conditions for contracts. Pretty sure most see all of the text and their eyes glaze over. True even for Birth Control inserts.
austin101123 3
how does he deserve a girl lying to him to get pregnant? everyone knows what the pill is. technically, he did not agree to sex without the pull and by lying about it she raped him
groovycrazyjoe 18
why ever one making it sound terrible, I hate to choose you deserve it.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There's no proof OP didn't use condoms. It's possible for a pregnancy to happen even with both. I'm just saying I think people need to stop telling OP to use both, because for all you know, he could've worn condoms every single time. I'm not saying he did; just trying to make a point.
BeachGirl27 23
Yup. More guys should share contraceptive responsibility rather than leaving it all up to the woman.
datoismyname 22
Aww good luck dealing with that genius for the next 18 years.
Rawr6591 21
you don't stop being a father after 18 years... it's a lifetime
sweetprettykitty 10
But after 18 years you no longer have to really deal with the other parent (if you don't exactly have a good friendship)
skyttlz 32
I agree. Most kids don't actually move out when they turn 18. I am almost 20 and I work but I don't have enough money saved yet to move out.
Brianna_Ray 23
Good luck and congrats.
canupls 6
Yeah, it's crazy how it used to be exciting to have kids but now it's, "I'm going to be a father. FML." I know OP wasn't ready but being pregnant is being looked at as negative thing more and more these days. Pretty sad.
TunaFireStarter 16
Of course it will be seen as something negative in poor circumstances. Are people supposed to be like, "Woohoo! I'm so happy to have knocked up a girl who I'm not ready to commit to, when I'm broke, and not mentally or emotionally ready to raise a child yet!"
askullnamedbilly 33
Unplanned parenthood has NEVER been a source of excitement. Getting knocked up outside of marriage used to turn you into a social outcast no one would touch with a ten foot pole, unless you had enough money to outsource the child to a baby farm. That part has gotten a lot better in most (but not all) countries, but people still aren't excited about an unexpected amount of responsibility that they are most likely not ready for.
Yeshua_fml 19
I hope it's a girl. That way you can call her mis-conception.
lord_meloetta 20
That's like cursing her for her life
PaulStanleyFan 3
XD
garrett_8614 14
I, for one, found this comment to be hilarious.
teeeuhhh 12
I did too
JMichael 26
Not sure if I should say congratulations or I'm terribly sorry.
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
You'll make more friends by saying congratulations.
cakefete2 31
Or you can say "accept my congratu-pologies".
bkirky 6
Abortion
HateMyLife786 8
Just embrace it..
imbackwiththeshi 9
you have to be specific when asking questions that can affect your entire future.
baconbacon69 12
I love how your comment is so wise and logical and promotes responsibility, while your picture is goofy and funny :D