Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.
The_Big_Boss 20
That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
FrankHotpants 31
Perhaps simply a test of your testicular fortitude.
mstoffel 13
Why would he clean it before firing it? Now he just has to clean it again.
SilverSet 16
Treat her with respect and be a gentleman and you don't have to worry about anything.
himwiththeface 17
he shouldve shot it THEN cleaned it....
awkward_gothlady 32
Whenever I read an FML like this, I always think of how embarrassing it must be to have a father who acts that way.
dope_mcfly 24
Whenever I read a reply like this, I always thing of how embarrassing it must be to have parents that don't care about their kids.
awkward_gothlady 32
What's that supposed to mean? I know my dad cares about me, but he doesn't go around threatening the guys I date. He'd warn me privately if I was with someone he thought was bad news, but he wouldn't threaten them with violence. In my family, SOs are innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around, but we all know we care about each other. He also realizes I'm not some fragile little flower who has to be protected from life itself. If either of my parents threatened my SO with violence, I'd be so embarrassed I'd think twice before introducing another one to them.
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
Why your life, from what I'm getting the guy just really doesn't like hornets. XD
WelcomeToAndale 13
'Murica.
cheeseygeek 12
Over compensating much?
Frungy 9
Not just America. My wife's father was a wee bit more subtle, he just had his sniping trophies (mostly gold, a few silver) discretely on display. I got the message. Still, it didn't hurt our relationship in the least, and we got married, so don't stress it OP. As long as you keep her happy you'll be fine ;).
jman26 11
Show him how good of a shot you are by shooting something else