Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.
The_Big_Boss 20
That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
nikkiboy95 11
I wouldn't worry about him... Murder is still illegal lol. Fathers like him are the reason their "precious little girls" usually are running around school or college doing things they shouldn't be doing.
BenjiX_fml 13
I would have asked to take a few shots
B33fyT1ts47 9
i had a dad try that. worked well until he realized I wasn't afraid and knew my way around a rifle. lol
flynryder 7
Man up. As you said its a show. If you weren't a pansy about fire arms you would be carrying also and not need to worry
nokturn_fml 11
*deep voice* "he's country!"
itis409 14
Does the rifle contain a fully automatic fire option? If so, "assault rifle" is the correct descriptive term. If this is the case he either works in a military/LEO capacity or paid a hefty amount of money just to basically allow the ATF to enter his home at any time. More than likely, if this FML contains any truth to it, you probably mean "AR-15" or "AR-10" (the difference between the two being the size of the round fired.) There is a difference between an AR-15 and a fully automatic assault rifle, mainly being the automatic option. If it was an AR-15 then you're looking at a bullet that is about as round as a standard pencil. Don't do anything to his daughter that may cause him to shoot you because if he does actually shoot you it'll probably take 4 or 5 bullets to kill you. Unless he shoots you in the head, heart, or severs your spine with the first or second shot. Good luck.
Flashman9000 9
Being a massive twat...he is one.
pdp_fml 21
Yes Op, your life sucks, but if you ever get to have a daughter, you will know how her father feels.
blueknight1st 26
You fear for your life because some douche with a tiny penis was showing you how he compensates for having a tiny penis?
xNephilim 19
My fiancé said he'd do that to our daughter's first boyfriend... He has no intention of ever hurting the poor sucker, but he does want him to know it's his little girl he's messing with. Just don't be a complete dick do her and you'll be fine.