Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.
The_Big_Boss 20
That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime
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Comments (188)
JonBall 17
Gotta love those scare tactics haha
MallardMarauder 10
Who the hell cleans a gun right before they shoot it?
imreallyhighdude 6
You are scared for what reason? Grow a pair bro.
mauwi_10 10
Pretty sure that's what he meant to do
MrBowman 12
Almost the exact same thing happened to me, except he shot a metal plate. Don't worry man, I had my revolver then and I just shot all targets he had up, impressed him and my girl. Do something "manly" in a sense, like buy a gun and go shooting with him, or hunting, fishing, anything to show him that you can get you're hands dirty but still treat his daughter well.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
annoying when people say "treat her like a princess",what is she 5 years old??
bigbob92 6
He got the point across.
lafcadi0 7
'Merica!
sailorarctic 22
My dad did the same thing with my husband except it was a sniper rifle and he head shot a deer from the roof of our barn then pointedly told him. " I was an army sniper. All I need is a rooftop and a mile." My husband is the only boyfriend my father didnt scare off with that stunt. Its their way of making sure the guys intentions are sincere
howdoilogin 9
If you let a lower class thug bully you like that you'll never be happy. Don't let him think his daughter is some untouchable goddess, she's just as flawed as anyone else and he needs to learn that.
blackonblight 33
It's a father saying "if you're planning to hurt her, she's not alone, I will make you pay." Classic intimidation to make a guy think twice about not treating the girl with courtesy.