Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML
Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I think cyanide may be a good ingredient to add next time you make one for her... But jokes aside, don't bother making her anything, she'll never like anything you cook.
ClosetTroll 10
If she stuffed herself then you know she liked it. It might take her a while to admit the same.
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Comments (143)
SkoomaKi 28
I think cyanide may be a good ingredient to add next time you make one for her... But jokes aside, don't bother making her anything, she'll never like anything you cook.
shannonreneee 11
Exactly, you have to realize that she's just a bitch and no matter what you do she'll find an issue.
zandalee 20
Sometimes niceness is mistaken for weakness. Your Mother in law sounds like the type that needs power over you. Stop being so willing to please. Step right back & see if that improves her attitude.
Demonfish 14
I'm inclined to agree with the point regarding cyanide..... Not to mention risen and arsenic :)
TheBonzaiGirl 0
For a less guilt ridden revenge, try laxatives and laugh because you are shagging her son/daughter and she is ******** her pantaloons!
LoveMay 10
You can't please everyone
cheaptrix 6
More for OP
purplemnm 9
._. you're not Sirin, yet you have her profile picture.
pookberry 4
103 that is not the same picture as the picture sirin has. Just thought I'd mention that. It is a different picture in more ways than one. :)
heyyyaubrey 9
ricin * -__-
ClosetTroll 10
If she stuffed herself then you know she liked it. It might take her a while to admit the same.
KILLERTOAST13 4
so she's stubborn or bitchy?
ClosetTroll 10
A potent mix of both.
unagi_fml 9
Probably like "This pie is shit!!" "... Can I have seconds please? :)"
jessimica642 8
I bet it was delicious and she's just jealous.
daftPunKt 4
Its her job to be a bitch, same goes for sisters in law. Just ignore
KILLERTOAST13 4
Ignore or act that is the question ignore=pussy act=boss
xcarxcrashx 9
Yeah, I hate when mother in laws are so stereotypical. Why not just be nice??
doby199 6
Ppl suck & they can't help but speak stupidity out loud
blueandpurpleroc 4
Some people have no respect for hard work put into bakery goods made from scratch.
KILLERTOAST13 4
why respect an object, a pastries no less
ClosetTroll 10
It's not about the 'pastries' but the effort that went into making them.
Michael_92 20
@61 Cause usually many hours of hard work go into making a pie so you respect the person for using their time to make you something because I am sure they would have rather done something else.
Michael_92 20
@61 Cause usually many hours of hard work go into making a pie so you respect the person for using their time to make you something because I am sure they would have rather done something else.
ladyLALAA 29
So true 97, some things even take days of preparation! Cake-Pops anyone?
ellieOphant 4
What the?! Really?! It's an apple pie?! Eat it and like it! I would have slapped her, then got a prenup.
Michaelsgirl04 9
a prenup for what? a bitchy mother in law isnt a reason for a prenup...
KILLERTOAST13 4
But then she would have told her son and u would be labeled violent
alyspar2 5
Looks like you have some great family get togethers ahead! Good luck!
KILLERTOAST13 4
Ah sarcasm the best invention since criticism
coop7291 3
what a see you next tuesday
THE_A_TEEN 28
*C U Next Tuesday
KILLERTOAST13 4
if she's a bitch why see her again?........willingly
LSS_fml 18
Why would she prefer canned pie filling over home made? Silly woman.
ycrem0n 21
OP should throw her canned pie fillings, bitches love canned pie fillings
KILLERTOAST13 4
Ya know what else bitches love? Not being called bitches
Vert90 11
The only "b" word you should call a girl is beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful.
loufol22 5
Next time put her face In it
KILLERTOAST13 4
That works for multiple scenarios