Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.
The_Big_Boss 20
That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime
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Comments (188)
nathansch 11
He's just trying to scare you just don't do anything you wouldn't want your future daughters boyfriend doing.
RaeAnnAngelica 12
That's a little beezarre
dingostacy 14
My parents are the same way. If you treat her right and respect him you shouldn't be seeing it aimed at your face. Dads are usually like that. Roll with the punches
aedar 16
Honestly, my face wouldn't be the body part I'd be worried about :)
Natetc13 6
Guns don't kill people. Fathers whose daughters come home late do.
KingLewisII 34
and if you try to run you'll just die tried
FlyingPie 17
If you are mean to his daughter in any way, you can be sure the house will be abuzz with anger. And revenge can sting.
sunshineb81 16
Treat the girl with respect and you will be fine. I'm sure I will get lots of negative votes for this next one: I'm surprised to see this made FML. It really is not bad at all. I doubt even if you did hurt the girls feeling or something that the dad will actually do you physical harm. Stop whining and move on.
meirginsburg18 10
Not called an assualt rifle AR stands for the company that first made it, Armalite, NOT assault rifle oh and treat her like you'd treat the queen
onealmxwilson 18
He never said it was an AR? He said it was an assault rifle. While would you assume it was an AR?
simay_fml 1
Cause the AR-15 is what hoplophobes call an "Assault Rifle." Which, btw, is a bullshit made up term.
CryosFear 14
I'm with ya man
DylanHasClass 17
Pull up your pants, tighten your belt, and trust me... He won't misfire
mrmaddman 9
I'd be doing the same to my niece with her boyfriend one day.