Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
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Top comments
cynide 13
Run.
joe502 3
Holy crap, I have to get me one of those!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought cleaning my riot shotguns would be good enough... But the shirt with the guns will defiantly keep little pricks out of here....
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Comments (162)
cynide 13
Run.
itsharkley 8
Fast
cgchamp89 7
Now
LovesSushi 25
But not in a straight line...
amDes 11
In a serpentine pattern!
Imhere4fml 24
Or you'll end up like 82..
SerenaSerenadex3 13
Or pretend to be her cute gay best friend?
tjv3 10
I loved meeting my gf's dads back in the day the ones who acted all touch and hard etc. those were the wild ones lol oh the memories
7yzz 18
If im not mistaken this old Dad from the South just wants to keep his daughter for himself..
joe502 3
Holy crap, I have to get me one of those!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought cleaning my riot shotguns would be good enough... But the shirt with the guns will defiantly keep little pricks out of here....
gc327072 31
Yea, defiance! That'll definitely do the trick!
LovesSushi 25
That's what my dad thought, until I brought home a guy who was excited to see his gun collection. Now that guy is my husband, and we have quite the collection. I feel bad for my future daughters.
knightof2010 1
badideatshirts.com. I got a bunch of funny movie quote shirts from there and that's where they sell that shirt. I remember seeing that exact one while browsing! it's hilarious!
soccerluver315 14
This could very easily a FthedaughtersL too
MooseKnuckle5150 13
You mean keep the pricks out of her* right?
sarahshanghai 9
My dad does something similar everytime my boyfriend comes over, and my boyfriend couldn't care less. I swear, my dad will shoot him one day.
twiztedone 19
Only of your boyfriends a prick and doesn't treat you right!
KingCeltic77 18
*out of her
SammyS2012 21
I wanted to get my father that shirt for Christmas haha
klutz44 28
My husband got that shirt for Christmas. Our daughter is only 8 months old. I already pity her future boyfriends.
octopussperm125 18
Ur the kind of dad who problably has te slutty little girl too, Shes daddy's little girl huh?
storethis 17
Hahaha i can't wait to see them ?
carry_on 19
Might be time to invest in a bullet proof vest...or at least a charm offensive.
CheeseHater 23
I don't like being overly judgemental, but when I saw "United States (Texas)", my only thoughts were: "Of course, what else?"
Freeze_fml 17
Good thing you clarified that - someone might get the wrong idea.
txgirl2013 14
We undoubtedly fulfill the stereotypes. *says while cleaning my rifle*
Stalkerloo 11
I am a Texan, and I approve this comment.
Skinwalker131 5
My dad has one and we live in North Carolina. Jut because a state carries a stereotype doesn't mean that it has to live by it.
balletteacher 11
I'm a Texan. My dad has a rifle and is promising to "take no prisoners." I'm moving out.
mangoboy1 19
I think i'll do this if I ever have a daughter
Axipiter 24
You probably won't...
FML_Whale 18
my dad owns about 4 of those shirts. Your children will hate you.
SammyS2012 21
His children might not hate him; I wanted to give the shirt to my father. I know my father is overprotective because he loves me (and he seriously wouldn't shoot my boyfriend)
storethis 17
Then your daughter will be lonely
NickaPLZ 26
Once I saw a bumper sticker "Guns don't kill people, dads with daughters do." And I laughed.
TheZee 12
Cool story, bro.
TheManager 6
Leave
babygirl0232 8
It actually goes "guns don't kill people, dads with pretty daughters do"
Charleybelle 14
88 is right. Dads don't kill over their ugly daughters.
Jordath_Fil 11
I sense a bit of bitterness there 101..
the_new_a_x_ 6
Lmao they aren't worty the bullet xd
dohdohdoh 13
Show ur uncle / daddy some respect.
corruptedlol 2
Simply because OP is from a southern state (in this case, Texas) doesn't automatically make the relationship an incestuous one.
Joe9024 20
It does to ignorant people on the Internet
hryffff 11
Her dads got a sense of humor!
dav3800 7
Too bad he was serious.
alexhaz64 4
Sounds like an awesome dad. That shirt is hilarious!
Gestpacho88 12
Simple solution really. Dont be a prick to his daughter.
ulissey_fml 22
You mean, don't ever call her bad names, be funny instead, like, pen-is mightier than the S'word?
doodlecloud 27
Except the t-shirt doesn't say 'don't hurt my daughter, treat her with respect, etc, etc,' it says he's against her dating at all. I'm all for protective parents but this guy is obviously just an unrealistic prick.
doodlecloud 27
Unless of course he meant it as a joke, but that doesn't appear to be the case.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#49/53: How do you get the idea that he's an unrealistic prick? The ONLY thing the FML says is what the shirt he's wearing says. You can't say it "doesn't appear to be a joke" when there is nothing else said (like say about how the dad treated him).
doodlecloud 27
I'm assuming if it was a joke then OP wouldn't have felt the need to post an fml about it because, you know, it would only have been a joke.