Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
Relax, no matter what he says he isn't going to shoot you. Treat his daughter with respect and he will eventually stop acting so obnoxious towards you.
CynePhoba 23
Good opportunity to show him all the reasons not to shoot you and why his daughter chose you!
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Comments (51)
Walter_Sobchak 7
Maybe he has been reading the texts you send each other
TheLynx_fml 20
Ha
lexiieeex3 32
I'd really like to know what OP did to piss that guy off but somehow I doubt this.
CynePhoba 23
Good opportunity to show him all the reasons not to shoot you and why his daughter chose you!
LowExpectations 30
I picture OP expressing his good intentions to his girlfriend's father while being in the desert digging his own grave at gun point.
MrsDruidess 23
I agree! OP should tell him amd reaffirm it with his actions that he respects his daughter and will not let any harm come to her. It's a fathers job to scare the living shit out of you before allowing you to take her out. He has spent her whole life taking care of her and has to clean up after a guy breaks her heart, its natural to be protective of her. Lets face it he was a guy and remembers that no one ever looked at a girl, turns to the guys and says, wow I would totally buy that girl a slice of pie and a cup of coffee! More like I want to give it to her until her toes curl!
meli1195 31
I don't really think all guys say how badly they want to bone chicks they like. There are guys that have respect towards women. Same goes for women.
WitEluded 13
Relax, no matter what he says he isn't going to shoot you. Treat his daughter with respect and he will eventually stop acting so obnoxious towards you.
extrasnipes 22
That is true. But depends how crazy the dad is and what state op lives.
tantanpanda 26
^Nope, not even. Even in Texas, you can't just kill someone in your own house with no probable cause. Besides, the girlfriend sure as hell wouldn't testify that the shooting was justified. Those dads are just saying that to scare the bf.
MrsDruidess 23
well now if OP actually physically hurts her, her dad could claim temporary insanity and only get a few years, if that, depending on how badly he hurts him. I mean he could hurt him fairly badly and not get too much time of he doesn't actually try to kill him. . . just sayin
Delphos 14
Actually... there was a story on the news a few weeks ago where a teenager went to see his girlfriend. Her dad answered the door and pointed a gun at his face and told him to leave. He refused, and the dad shot him in the face. Thankfully the boy is alive, the bullet grazed the side of his head.
MsConfusedd 27
It was probably just a power play but that would be a bit horrifying. Just be good to your girlfriend as a general rule and maybe you and her father will end up as buddies.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Subtlety is not his strong suit, is it?
hasooon 24
He defiantly likes you.
goozeo 11
In this case, "defiantly" might actually suffice
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I don't think defiantly means what you think it means...
hasooon 24
Well, I meant definitely. Anyhow, I didn't know what defiantly means and now I do. Sorry, english is my 4th language.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Hey, that's impressive!
deathshead 19
yea, im having enough trouble learning a second language.
band13geek 16
I bet you're going to treat his daughter REAL well now.
enginsteve 17
in bed
amanda182 19
He should be treating his girlfriend well anyway...
williamcarter93 13
I wonder if I am the only one who thinks this is stupid. I mean, sure, every parent wants their kid to be treated well by their partner, but waving guns around? really? Doesn't he trust his daughter to pick good people to be with? that kind of stuff would end up just chasing away potential boyfriends because it's so obnoxious and dumb. What happened to just sitting down with the person and telling them to "treat my child right?"
interesting33 37
THANK YOU!! It is ridiculous, childish and pathetic. Life happens. Some people are jerks sometimes but you shouldn't assume every guy your daughter dates is going to be that person. And it isn't just the guy - girls can be jerks too. But they aren't sat down and threatened.
mjr96d 5
Speaking as a father of a beautiful girl, that's the point; to scare away any potential boyfriends that would break my girl's heart. If it doesn't scare him away, maybe he really cares for her. My daughter already knows a gun will be nearby when she brings home any potential suitors. The "treat my daughter right" conversation will happen with a little proof that I'm serious nearby.
IHaveThePower 18
Because as we all know, guns aren't tools for hunting and combat, guns are there to make you look tough because you don't have any faith that your dick is big enough.
tantanpanda 26
^that's stupid. In some cases, the in-laws can make or break it. Doesn't matter who I'm dating if the father is a complete psycho. When your daughter hides everything from you, you only have yourself to blame.
Lalala579121 28
But 33, wouldn't scaring them away break her heart...?
MasteredBastard 16
Because 'Murica!
americanafrican 32
that is a massive over reaction #62 dont you think?
toastbrot 9
33 yeah, having your daughters boyfriend think "if I make one mistake, her father will literally kill me" all the time, is such a good start for a healthy relationship. you're such an idiot. guys will break her heart and she will break some hearts too. no need to get your guns.
writerchic85 26
This is the reason why we need gun control. Joking or not, that is highly irresponsible.
SecundusSecunda 27
Don't start the flame war 13...
americanafrican 32
the war is started. just you wait
hacksaw246 24
Gun control is using both hands.
writerchic85 26
I'm just saying. It's idiots who take gun ownership lightly like this that ruin it for the responsible ones.
writerchic85 26
That being said my dad told me my moms uncle (who raised her and her siblings) met my dad the first time with a shotgun on his lap. My dad didn't let it bother him at all and showed my uncle he wasn't afraid and my uncle loved him after that.
bapbap_fml 15
If there's one thing I've learned on the internet it's to never criticize Americans for their obsession with guns. For some reason responsible gun owners get really upset at the idea of having to prove they are responsible gun owners.
OAP_Watson 3
Gun control is a clear line of sight of your target.
interesting33 37
Seriously!?? What is it with the stereotype of fathers threatening boyfriends. It isn't reasonable to threaten to kill someone for fear they might break your daughter's heart. She has to have a bf sometime and people break up - it happens. It is ridiculous that he got so hostile towards you. Sheesh. I mean you are his daughter's friend, she chose you. It doesn't always work out but she has a say in this too - he should respect her choices.
writerchic85 26
Yeah honestly why is it socially acceptable for a father to imply he's going to shoot a boy for hurting his daughter when you know damn well if he threatened a girl for hurting his son he'd be arrested.
dsrtpnk 8
Found the predators.
deltoren 11
It's our right as a father for 2 reasons: 1 we have to make sure no one hurts our little princess and 2 it's fun
DoomedGemini 38
Yeah, they're princesses alright. Princesses locked away that have to wait for a boy to run away with them. When your daughter is miserable, runs off, or completely rebels you know who to blame.