Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
The Phone Call
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Quite the catch
Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML
We meet again
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
We're all proud of him
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Top comments
Chelsea_bella 20
At least it was long distance vomiting.
regenerate 19
How romantic...
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Comments (82)
regenerate 19
How romantic...
Quackadoodledoo 13
Then press the thumbs up button Nancy ;)
dakotahulsey 15
At least OP is the one he wants to talk to when he's drunk though.
Chelsea_bella 20
At least it was long distance vomiting.
NotR3ddy 20
Yep, at least you can't smell it or be forced to clean it up haha
Pandaboy876 14
Also don't forget the fact that they have not made haven't made smellovision but other then that he is a keeper...
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I'm almost afraid to know what #60 is trying to say.
silvercamaro 22
Well at least it seems like you guys are good at keeping in touch even though it's a long distance relationship
nchic01 17
although some things are better done alone
tj4234 36
Actually it's a good thing she was 'there' to wake up to that. Many people have died as a result of throwing up alone (jimmy hendrix and bon scot being two famous examples), she could have checked if he was ok and if not could have phoned for potentially life saving assistance.
teotsi 28
If the guy was in another country, how would she know what number to call?
tj4234 36
It's easy to look up on the internet. Besides, australia is a massive country. Op and their partner may just be in a different state or something. In which case, i imagine it's the same number.
FlyingPie 17
#28: The FML says they were using Skype. Skype works on the Internet, so it doesn't have to use phone numbers. Besides, if they're in a relationship, they probably know each other's phone numbers or would be willing to share that with each other.
WhyMe9516 15
#28 was talking about which emergency number to call. In America it's 911, whereas the Netherlands people use 112. 28 was asking how OP would know what emergency number to call if it had been necessary. It's obviously easy to look up on the internet, but you know.
Mauskau 36
If you call the emergency number for another country in one country, it automatically redirects you to your local number. I tried calling the Australian one once :(
tj4234 36
Not always, here in the uk you can dial 911. But even if it does, you can still be redirected by the operator.
wysegirl 24
there is always an alternate number in case the 911 line is down in the US and if I remember correctly it was the same in Korea so of you dial the country code and the alternate emergency number you should be able to reach someone in the other location
oddities 20
Well, he's a keeper. Nice that he tried, though. I guess.
kjack49044 18
Next time maybe he'll try sober.
ohcheriecherie 20
seems like OP is a keeper since she was there for him ^~^
shaww 28
It's the thought that counts
sellyyy 6
It could've been you, try to comfort him
LatvianPride 16
I am 16, but I don't see the interest in alcohol at all.. Can someone explain why it's so great anyway?
KingLewisII 34
You'll find out when you're older.
jerryj 27
Good for your blood circulation, as long as you don't overdo it.
disney_blonde 16
Makes people seem more attractive than they actually are.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I'm 19 (in dog years, of course). I tried it once, thought it tasted bitter, and decided that I didn't like it and that it just wasn't for me. I honestly don't see the hype either.
garebear61 14
I personally don't care one way or another either. However imo people do it because they like the way it makes them feel, or when they are young, just because it makes people do crazy and stupid things and they think thats fun and makes for a good time. Some alcohols that don't have a high alcohol content don't taste to bitter and are not really bad tasting. It's all about preferwnce.
TheMathMajor 26
I'm 23 and I don't drink often at all. I like the taste of some alcohol like hard cider and some wines and being tipsy can be fun, but mostly alcohol just makes me sleepy. I don't understand the hype about being drunk either, which is why I don't drink a lot because I'm very much a light weight. In some social settings it's nice because being tipsy makes me more talkative and engaging which can lead to fun conversations where I would otherwise be too reserved to speak much. It's just not for everyone, though, you definitely shouldn't feel pressured to drink if you don't want to :)
DomiLove 26
Most people drink because it numbs the mental pain they're in, if you watch Shameless on ShowTime, Frank drinks because he hates himself and when he's drunk he doesn't really think about it. Drinking isn't good and I don't suggest anyone does it but it's a personal choice.
bobslawnservice 16
Alcohol in moderation is. Agood social lubricant. Some people enjoy the taste and the feel of a good mellow buzz. Nothing wrong with alcohol if you can drink in moderation.
domolovesyoshi 33
I don't either
KingLewisII 34
Should have put a bucket under the screen and patted it that way it would feel like you were comforting him.
ugcterminator 8
It's called a volume nob...turn the volume off and you won't wake up.
Soloman212 28
Your computer has a KNOB?! What year is it from?!?
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
I really hope this isn't the way things go when you ARE with him.