Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.
The_Big_Boss 20
That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime
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Comments (188)
chuksnwali 34
whoa i feel for op.
buckdharma 38
Tell him blowing the hell out of things must run in the family.
phatdaddy62 23
And then prepare to meet your maker.
Silencefalls 2
'Merica.
snyper15129 8
Let me guess. You are a tree hugging, gun fearing, bleeding heart liberal pussy.
uhnevermind 24
How the hell did you get that? He was intimidated when someone tried intimidating him. How does that at all make him a "tree hugging liberal pussy"?
cherro 5
Good luck to you
Lastwhiteknight 11
I'm sorry this is just stupid, o look you're dating my daughter so if you hurt her I'm going to shoot you... First; stupid people with guns... yay! Second; we all know this is a bluff... If not see point one. Third; Its this crap that makes the rest of the world look at America and shake it's head...
mt631 18
this, never understood why people think it's OK to threaten someone like this. How would people react if she went to his house and his mom did the same thing?
worldclassrager 41
Don't be that was his plan to scare you...maybe you two can go out and shoot guns together
vietmanx 10
This is when you start playing her and messing with her head. Break her heart and keep stringing her along. Then tell the dad, "Now how you gonna act?" He's full of sh*t, he won't do anything.
SilverSet 16
Yeah, let's break a girls heart who might genuinely like you so you can call out an over protective dad's bluff. People who have such a selfish mentality shouldn't date at all.
sanecatlady 13
I'm Canadian and I actually grew up around guns. My dad is a hunter and he had a collection of rifles that he'd clean up regularly while I watched. But at least he never used them to blow up a hornets' nest, or make a boyfriend pee his pants. :)
Flashman9000 9
What an utter nob.