Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
juggalo2 22
"Today, I met me daughter's new boyfriend. I was working on preparing a meal, and I kept giving him meaningful glances. He didn't offer to help once, just stood there sheepishly watching me work." FML
sickerthanyou 13
The one saying FML is that goat 🐐
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
that's a scare tactic dad's use to let you know not to hurt their daughter your gf and her mother probably bitched him out after though as is common as long as you treat her right and don't break her heart you should be fine
mekiswrite 21
Yeah... consider that your warning....
Sagar Nair 12
Its a warning. Treat his daughter right or he’ll do you wrong.
RichardPencil 32
Try this; Good to know if you're not already circumcised. Or this: Hope you don't think you're the Greatest Of All Time! Or this: I'm sure he was just "kid"ding.
Taylor Caldwell 10
Hopefully his psychopathic tendencies haven’t affected her, but seeing as that’s her dad I’m sure she has a messed up moral compass now
sickerthanyou 13
The one saying FML is that goat 🐐
juggalo2 22
"Here's looking at you, kid."
juggalo2 22
"Today, I met me daughter's new boyfriend. I was working on preparing a meal, and I kept giving him meaningful glances. He didn't offer to help once, just stood there sheepishly watching me work." FML
BoulderDashTank19141 6
Are you in another country?
WistayShlaio82 13
Being half Apache I would have asked him “can you hand me the liver, I know a good recipe for that”