Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML
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Top comments
Roxas_hearts 27
That must've been a buzzkill.
wolfgirl310 20
Good thing you aren't allergic to them. Hope you feel better soon.
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Comments (47)
Makko 20
What if it was a baby? You got off lucky mate
Skycop_S 23
I think you missed the point
Tripartita 45
If anybody takes #1's comment seriously, I'd be surpri—ah, yes, this is the Internet.
willsnow18 11
the best place is inside bush
arcticnette 4
who cares about babies?
TheAspieDork 27
I immediately thought of the President, and now I feel very uncomfortable
wolfgirl310 20
Good thing you aren't allergic to them. Hope you feel better soon.
EarlFug 19
I am. Also babies. Man, a swarm of angry babies when you're allergic? That's the worst.
Skycop_S 23
Hive never been stung by a bunch of bees. I hope a never do, beecause that would hurt. I'm so so sorry. That must bee so painful :(
XxDanno316xX 27
The first sentence was witty, but you just kept going :(
Skycop_S 23
Yeah.. I went a little too far. Oh well. First time attempting to be punny on FML.. :/
sillygirl247 14
STFU
BadApple88 29
Next time go to a paintball field
Brandi_Faith 34
Going to an actual paintball field is a good idea, but op was just trying out his gun quickly. It's not like he was going to get in the car and drive to a paintball field and play a whole game to just shoot a few pellets. You didn't do anything wrong op; you tried out your gun in what you thought was a safe place, a bunch of shrubs and bushes, who knew there'd be hornets nest. Hope you took some Benadryl and put some polysporn on the welts and feel better soon!
SubparAtBest 23
Painball confirmed
ber4fun 23
Firing it at a wall would have sufficed.
thejonac 21
that was just a case of really rotten luck so don't give up on the sport. hope you get well real soon !!
hellnosucka 27
yea don't give up. hunt every single one of these hornets and shoot them one by one. This is officially a war.
Roxas_hearts 27
That must've been a buzzkill.
SecundusSecunda 27
Not as much as murdering ******* when one gets home.
shinxanta 21
Wow, that must sting. Do you get the point? Take some Benadryl, though You might feel a buzz. Yeah, I hate me too.
gopi_fml 23
hate 2 b u ri8 now bro
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
Never attack a bush. The beedrill will chase you down!
Tripartita 45
It's reasons like this that I'm not into paintball anymore. Or going outside. Or leaving my room. I tend to just lay in bed, moving as little as possible. Even typing this message might be enough to incite the wrath of the hornets.
SubparAtBest 23
I agree I once rolled over in my old house and my knee hit the wall busting it only to find paper wasps everywhere.
Colon_Man 17
Oh, geez! That's nightmare fuel.