Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
bjhhjh 20
And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Unless he was joking, run. Now.
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Comments (156)
bjhhjh 20
And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines
ansleyyelizabeth 12
Bahaha
ChevyRedneck85 13
GO DAD!!!!!!!
ohnowhyme123 15
The first thing my father did when I was around the guy I liked was tell us he was sharpening his knives
Ambient25 25
I mentioned this before but the girl I took to prom had a dad like that. As soon I showed up he took me around the house, brought me over to a wall full of boxing plaques and medals he'd won, and told me "It's been a while since I knocked anyone out...but I might just have to again at some point" as he stared at me... Not to mention though all guys kind of dread the day a young man comes calling for their daughter.
JustinKirby 20
Wasn't that also a scene from the show last man standing with Tim Allen
Ambient25 25
Was it? That might be where he got the idea from then.
\ 28
#72 - I've noticed all your posts concerning meeting a girl's dad end with the same statement: "Not to mention all guys kind of dread the day a young man comes calling for their daughter." Nice of you to provide us with the TL;DR. :)
Sports_guy3 28
Sue him for making death threats.
mullet3388 16
you are what is wrong with this country. always looking to sue to make that fast buck with no work. its led to the kind of society were a woman spills coffee and gets paid
kangx1 28
#47 I bet his dad is the same as your user name a "Redneck"
grunt_fml 17
The american way of suing everyone for everything is wrong, I agree. But so is making death threats towards a young lad whose only crime is to date his daughter, don`t you think? I understand that a dad wants to protect his daughter, mayby ESPECIALLY because he remembers how he used to treat his girlfriends. But showing her boyfriend a bullet and tell him, you will drive it into his body one day? This is not funny anymore, this is plain and simple terrifying. If this was my girlfriend I am pretty sure the relationship would have ended here, since I simply could not have stopped myself and tell her dad in detail what an asshole he is.
hersheykisses511 18
On my first date, my dad threw a bullet at my date and said "it goes a lot faster after 11".
crudeandrudeguy 29
161- that is epic and a must remember for my potential future daughter
Tobamf 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Brutal! I hope he was joking.
torio123 27
doesn't really sound like he was
greeneyebeauty9 28
I'd say he wasn't.. I dont think he'd post it on FML if he knew he was joking.
Usuario 25
maybe he was joking
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
A decent percentage of posts on here are fake.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Unless he was joking, run. Now.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Afraid to say the bullet runs faster.
Rainhawk94 27
OP you're not superman
TheCrispyCat 20
41 maybe he has pumped up kicks.
Redoxx_fml 22
Nah op should've replied "if you're gonna shoot shoot, don't talk." And then pulled out his own piece
cathyfang1533 12
71 OP can stop a speeding bullet once, twice if it doesn't hit anything vital...:P
knick64 7
Cue whipping sound.
Kamon97 23
More like gunshot sound
Sports_guy3 28
Witness: "He's faster than a speeding bullet!" (looks behind OP) "Literally!"
brainymes 30
Run. Run faaaaaaar away.
Lichinamo 33
Run far away and never return!
Sports_guy3 28
Common sense here. Why the hell should OP return? A death threat was made to him. Unless OP has a death wish, he wouldn't come back.
emmingle 24
I feel bad for her! she must be so embarrassed. he's just trying to intimidate you, OP. but play it safe. dads are... unpredictable.
poopernoodle 5
Hey, just wondering, do you have summer in Canada?
Xotoolyxo 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Amen (; you'll probably feel the same way if you ever have a daughter.
torio123 27
hopefully he doesn't threaten to shoot his daughter's boyfriend though haha
Raidriar 14
Amen? The act of threatening someone is, legally, considered assault. If he were to actually shoot OP (heavily unlikely), that is a felony. Tell me, what good are you to your daughter if you are incarcerated for a crime?
zoegirl_455 30
Sounds like a good time to invest in a bullet proof vest!
Dthsapprntc 23
Bullet proof vest were the reason head shots were invented. Not really, but you get my drift..... OP should probably find out if those are armor piercing round the gf's father has?
zoegirl_455 30
Maybe he can get a helmet and a bullet proof car for further protection!
Telefonmast 7
It's probably a .308 round so good luck protecting from that.
botanistjessica 24
How could you possibly assume it to be a .308 round, 94?
Sports_guy3 28
Stalker much, #94? Or are you part of the NSA?
FurryRocks 10
They should really call them bullet resistant vests because once you get a few bullets in it it's pretty much worth less
worldclassrager 41
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Isn't the husband will rule over the wife?
torio123 27
not always, my mum is the boss in my house and she is ******* terrifying haha
perdix 31
Does he own a gun? If not, I have this hilarious image of a pissed-off father-in-law trying to manually insert a bullet into the OP.
Das_is_gud 11
"TAKE THIS BULLET, AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!"
hayjay2000 8
No! No one ******* "rules" over another that isn't a relationship it's abuse.
DanielRamirez 10
*father violently jabs boyfriend with bullet* This kinda sounds like a news headline
EmpireCityRay 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Boy if that's the dad, I'd hate to meet the mom, lol
wodenlord 11
In this case he is dating the daughter. Dads are worst in those special cases. Moms are worst when it's the son
TheMathMajor 26
It depends on the parents. My mom is definitely the vocal one when it comes to me and my sister's relationships.
EmpireCityRay 13
I'm more inclined to believe this than the prior reply, one step further would be cultures where the wife/mom has equal say, some take a dominant role in the household.