Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Old banger
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Badass
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Snapping
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Catching strays
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
'Murica
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Top comments
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
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Comments (192)
CoolCookie210 22
That wasn't very nice of him :(
okokalright 15
Why do people feel the need to prank someone so hard to the point that they have to look death in the face. Smfh
MrsDruidess 23
it was more than not nice, it was down right dangerous!!! I taught my sister how to load and unload with caps and still we played it safe and faced it at the ground. What kind of jackass points a weapon at their own kid??? Sorry OP
slackerjoe 22
especially since blanks arnt always blank. ask brandon lee, bruce lees son.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
What an arse. Death isn't that funny.
MrSassypants 34
Except Hitler's death in inglorious bastards; 'twas a glorious and hilarious death.
EsDeeCee 12
But he's not dead
stargazing 17
#47: Hitler is dead.
Pesticides 19
I think #47 meant the Op.
stargazing 17
#73: My mistake, sorry.
RockstarJAy 16
"Okay" - Ness.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
CODplayer4lyfe 24
A rather large one at that
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Also, why is dad capitalized? That bothers me deeply
jerzjay 17
Though it was definitely ****** up, and I probably would have pissed myself too if that were me, but.....in all honesty, that's ****** funny!!! As long as a freak Brandon Lee type accident didn't happen, I approve
stargazing 17
#148: It's not funny, if it were a fake gun I could understand it being funny.
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
Mauskau 36
This is why the rest of the world thinks the US is stupid for letting anyone own a gun.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A few incidents with millions of gun owners doesn't make us stupid. What's stupid is that in many countries a criminal can break into your house with the intent to kill you, but if you defend yourself, even with a knife, you're going to jail.
Krypt1c 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He did say they were loaded with blanks. meaning nothing will come out..
bryce0110 23
But maybe his dad could've accidentally loaded a real bullet.
Indianboy9321 25
Suburbs* Good try at being a smartass..
cheeeksss 29
98, you replied to the wrong comment. Smartass.
Palindromesque 21
65, learn the law. Tossing out information like that is dangerous. Your "facts" are incorrect in every jurisdiction in the U.S.
RandKP 21
#89 Blanks are actually loaded with a type of paper (if I recall correctly), and at close enough range, depending on where it's aimed, can kill. #104 He said "What's stupid is that in many countries..." as in, NOT the USA. If you're going to get after someone for incorrect information, you could at least make sure you have actually tried to understand what was written first.
gracehi 33
The #1 rule of gun safety: Always treat your gun as if it is loaded. The other #1 rule of gun safety: Never point your gun at anything you do not intend to destroy. They are both #1 because they are equally important, and OP's father violated both of them.
IronMan_Mk43 20
The public owning guns is a stupid ******* idea which gets thousands of people killed every ****** year in the U.S. Like seriously what the **** is wrong with the U.S.? Can't it learn from its mistakes?
Lalala579121 28
104 - So the US is "many countries" now?
gracehi 33
Oh man, 121. You just opened a big ******* can of worms. Brace yourself for the onslaught of 2nd amendment rage.
nikitazed 10
#121, the government did try to restrict the ownership of the "big guns" and that is when the countries hate for Obama grew bigger
onlychildFTW 34
Funny thing is, out of all other developed countries the USA is the only one with these types of gun problems. Other countries have gun control and very few, if any mass shootings or a high accidentally rate of death by guns. Also, the USA is the only country that feels LESS gun control, and more guns, is the answer. Talk about backwards.
Shade1982 21
Statistically speaking, a criminal almost never ever breaks into a house with the intent to kill you. That happens close to never. Your facts are also incorrect. Most countries do allow you to defend yourself, but it's called 'proportional violence'. Most countries see a gun for home defense as overproportional. And they are right, when a baseball bat is much more effective at close range and doesn't require you to load it first. Because, as a responsible gun owner, I am sure you keep your gun and ammo stored in locked containers in different rooms (like it is advised by the NRA). Good luck doing that before the burglar notices you.
DogeDogeDoge 13
Regardless you should never treat an actual firearm like a toy. Blanks or no blanks you should always treat the gun as if it was loaded.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@142 Yes you can defend your self with "proportional violence" but many times the court still goes against you. Also, the criminal usually ends up suing and wins most of the time, even sometimes in the US. That's part of the reason why defense classes teach you to shoot to kill if your life is in danger. If you don't, the criminal could still harm you, even incapacitated. That includes financially ruining you. I wish it was another way, but it isn't. Finally, most burglars don't break in with the intent to kill, but that changes very fast when they realize someone has seen them.
davidpropert 32
I bet all of you condemning guns never realized that the 2nd amendment was meant to give the citizens the ability to overthrow the government via a militia if it ever went out of line with its democratic principles and or became a monarchy. Additionally, the citizens of the US need rifles for the same reason the government does. In WWII a Japanese admiral said that a mainland invasion of the US would be impossible because "there would be a rifle behind every blade of grass." Guns arent the problem, people are. Mandatory extensive background checks, proper training, and locking them in a case if a child or other unauthorized gun user is in your house would solve so many of the mass shootings referred to. And to all of you saying other countries gun violence is so low, no shit. Their gun deaths are down because theres barely any guns. Is it also surprising that no people drown on dry land?What you should be talking about is the massive rise in stabbings that occur in the absence of guns. The bottom line is new gun safety laws are necessary, not banning all guns.
Thoricsteam20 24
Do you have any neighbors!?!
IWishIWasObama 12
Not everyone lives in the suberbs, kid.
jesterinperil 28
Which is simply why he was asking, #31
HofstraGirl 14
I'd probably react the same way. Your Dad has a twisted sense of humor. Sorry, Op!
DarkAngelsBlade 25
People have died from blanks, that shit isn't funny.
lsutigers527 5
If it's from a distance I don't think you can die from a blank. People die when they put a blank at point blank to their head since it still has gas discharge at a high speed.
TonierShadow 19
At a distance a blank can kill you. Thinking you are about to day can raise your heart rate to dangerously high levels which can cause it to skip beats or stop altogether.
JebMcdeber 11
The dude from the Crow died when a blank from a prop gun fired a squib at him. A magician died when a blank fired some debris in the barrel into his neck, opening an artery. Besides, that's just really, really stupid behavior with a gun. First rule of gun safety is you don't point a gun at anything you don't intend to shoot.
thisguy22 33
"Don't intend to kill" would be the better word choice in this instance since he obviously intended to shoot at his son... Plus that's how I learned it.
kirkaygri 18
No, it's still don't point at anything you don't intend to shoot. The father (who should have his gun rights revoked, by the way) intended to shoot blanks at his son. And blanks or not, guns are meant to kill and you never point at anything you don't intend to shoot. Gun down, never at the ceiling, never at a wall, only proper way to handle it when not firing. I don't even allow kids at my house to use their hands as guns without parroting that rule 100 times. "We shoot at targets. Not people or pets. Barrels down. No fingers on the trigger. Don't point at anything you don't intend to shoot. Do you know what's behind that wall? No. Then don't point at it..." over and over and over. It's how I learned gun safety, even when we were firing at the empty six pack my dad had drunk, we still practiced proper safety, (except the alcohol part... I don't do that part...). That's how it should be if we're a land of gun rights.
IronMan_Mk43 20
Wait #108 your children have guns?
VahrunePrefect 18
They said that they don't let kids at their house use their hands as guns. As in finger-guns.
gracehi 33
118, A lot of Americans give their kids toy guns so they can learn how to use them safely. Then when their older they give them bb guns, and when they're even older, a real gun. People will also take their kids, usually ten and up, on hunting trips and allow them to use a rifle or shotgun supervised. My father in law gave my husband a real revolver when he was sixteen, which isn't unusual. He's still alive and well and has never hurt or killed anyone.
gracehi 33
When *they're older. Ducking Swype.
Shade1982 21
@108: That is about the ONLY acceptable way to own guns as private citizens. Besides the fact a blank actually can do unintentional damage, there is also the possibility a live round may have slipped in there as well.
Timmip12 9
You sound like no fun finger guns were the best to play with when I was a kid how about Nerf guns?
WOTAN1488 24
What a prick
Chadica 17
If he does it again, fall down and make him question himself on what he loaded. Its a bit extreme yea, but it should get him to stop
Lalala579121 28
Even better if you have those fake blood packets they use in acting.
Lalala579121 28
No but seriously, OP should NOT do this. Since OP's dad is stupid enough to do this in the first place I think we can safely assume he's too stupid to understand the consequences. If anything, unless OP makes it look hyper-realistic, his dad will just think OP is just playing along and just do it more. OP should first of all show his dad that blanks aren't safe and possibly threaten to get his gun license revoked. If he does it again then OP should get the cops involved.
ourtneyc 14
I can see this happening on some tv show. it's still incredibly ****** up though and can definitely cause phobia and trauma. I hope your dad realized what he did was not okay.