Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
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Top comments
abu4u 26
It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.
rhysfucker 24
You need curtains or blinds.
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Comments (82)
J483 12
The only reason I can think of as to why this would've happened is if you had sex in a car or public place. Otherwise you should've just closed your blinds or curtains. Either way YDI.
thenielsens 12
Haha **** blocker man
AutisticAbyss 10
Was the car a Toyota Prius? If it was its was probably someone from Dirty Mike & the boys!
HEPennypacker 6
Lol that's awesome. "How you fellas doin'? We about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here if you wanna join us." - Dirty Mike
bhfriday 9
brilliant
WitEluded 13
Sounds like a premise for a YouTube or vine channel
AngryRabbit 2
*Today, while I WAS HAVING SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND, some homeless person....* Seriously OP, YDI for the grammar. And English isn't even my first language.
thecrazymancan 17
Wow, You have truly taken Grammar Nazism to a whole new level. :O
dualpistolls 6
I'd ******* laugh
pubeboy 16
Did he have pubes?
usmc_sean 8
Better than him just watching...right?
kargirl3 14
in a morgan freeman voice?