Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
The nerve of some people
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Spooky stuff
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Top comments
killabee 0
A voice coming from his pants? "OMG! That thing talks?!?! ...oh it's just my dad."
BadPinkKitty07 0
amazing... simply amazing. imma say YDI.
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Comments (96)
BadPinkKitty07 0
amazing... simply amazing. imma say YDI.
BlueJeans2626 0
karma (:
reneetlovesyou 30
Agreed, if you're not old enough to be out on your own without a curfew, there's a good chance you shouldn't be participating in those activities.
iankennedy17 0
so I guess you won't be seeing him for a while, eh?
HeresReality 0
pocket dialing has nothing to do with this fml actually. the gist of this fml is she wasn't home on time
irsmeagol 0
the question still stands fyi...
Kylias 6
Actually pocket-dialing has a lot to do with the FML. If he didn't pocket-dial, the parents wouldn't have been notified and there would be no FML.
RKftw 0
the gist of this fml was her parents heard her maing out too lol
petrcech_fml 0
Nick got played spread the word
HunYoCrazy 0
ghcc
EastonxStealth 0
hehe gist
joker141 0
what you need is a boyfriend who will run there toungue down ur crack...mmmmm I love smelly butt
TomFantastic 0
68 makes a fine point
mellie1029 0
wat?
zoe_zoe_fml 0
I did that before!!! I was skipping and my dad called and I accidently answered! I managed to get out of it:)
iankennedy17 0
so I guess you won't be seeing him for a while, eh?
supergamer94 0
YDI for not being home on time.
pwincessa23 1
Was she not home on time or did she sneak out?
elektrik_fml 0
Oh come on. Like everybody here is always home when your parents say to. Stop acting you you're all god-like children who have never disobeyed (a possibly) unreasonable thing.
goatboy197 0
haha
jordaninja 0
Sooooo... how was the sex...?
Extacy23 0
good..me and ur mom are going for round 2 later
mexmelli13 0
47=win
NotJesse 0
seventh
alexandraa_fml 0
YDI for dry humping.
DogmaT_fml 4
:D
oogyboogy 6
:K beaver
killabee 0
A voice coming from his pants? "OMG! That thing talks?!?! ...oh it's just my dad."
BadPinkKitty07 0
haha that was my favorite part of this FML... a voice coming from his pants... teen boys' hormones are talented.
KrisleyelsirK 0
hahaha that was hilarious!
sjks 0
shoulda just been liek 'ohhh ummm just calling to say id be a little late!'