Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
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Top comments
phorcep 0
Well if you didn't, you certainly will now.
unfortunate_13 5
i once said "hey, you have to preheat the oven first" when my boyfriend wanted to skip foreplay while i needed some fun first.
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Comments (93)
phorcep 0
Well if you didn't, you certainly will now.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I like to fantasise about food during sex as well
Jonkbaby 23
lol 1
USAF_girl 3
Maybe he going to claim it on his taxes as a charitable donation?? lol
Jonkbaby 23
38 that was adorable
iloveloosy12 0
hahaha and that's where the vibrator comes in handy
Luke1717 0
10 your description is win
SchiTzenGiglez 0
agreed
XxMiNtYXx 4
random enough lol
davidjr_saldana 0
u know i have a bad memory & if i don't say things on the spot i forget!
gabinel1 0
thats the sexiest thing.
EffinToofer 3
Yeah. Maybe he has a "one-legged homeless guy with hotdog" fetish. Hawt!
Jonkbaby 23
uh. don't see much sexist ABOUT it. do your homework. hello? fail. >.<
DSmoothx9 0
he said sexiest you do your homework
SmallTownCutie 0
25- wtf?
afdude87 6
just have a go at round two. not like it was your last chance ever at having an ******.
DjeePee 25
No, but for women it is more important to be in the right mood than it is for men. Thanks to her boyfriend, OP's mood is propably completely gone. I doubt she even wanted a round two at that moment.
Jonkbaby 23
I can't shake the feeling that it's kinda her fault
MaximilianMarche 0
agree
NuTrees 9
speak for your self hun round two carries on!
dudehaha 4
it never stops amazing what people say when having sex!...
mrl2468 0
I'd be pissed. I hate when guys do that
EatnBeef 7
deal with it. I'll do whatever the **** I want in bed. I could be thrusting then see a squirrel and go chase it.
EatnBeef 7
deal with it. I'll do whatever the **** I want. I could be thrusting then see a squirrel and then jump out the window to chase it leaving you confused ad alone to finish yourself.
toooldforthis 19
guys have the most random thoughts during sex!
jrtepechis 6
hooah !
krazy_glu3 0
oorah!!!!
minesbiggerr 25
Like girls don't?
XxMiNtYXx 4
haha ^ 6
Jonkbaby 23
uh. that's 9. maybe don't surf upside down. yyyeah.. >.<
fisheatsbear 6
methinks 29 is either a) new to the internets b) retarded or c) trolling, and failing at it
Jonkbaby 23
d) living as I dam well please. this is America- you do your thing and leave me THE hell alone
djxtones 0
meanwhile in Finland.... lol. I love your comments... except you did miss the "e" in sexiest earlier. lol
DjeePee 25
Woooh, is this America?! Wow! Great! Supaaaaaaah! Eventhough it just looks like my own home, in Belgium, where I sit in front of my laptop...but still, Americaaaaa!
unfortunate_13 5
i once said "hey, you have to preheat the oven first" when my boyfriend wanted to skip foreplay while i needed some fun first.
insanesna1l 0
haha so true