Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML
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Top comments
Endo22 0
FYDL **** your dads life. Honestly you're mad about one day, that guy lives the shit 24/7. (no pun intended)
CBR77 0
Same shit, different day. xD
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Comments (79)
ipwnallmen 10
sounds like a shitty day
crazzle 0
zing
revieced 13
hahahaha
swgipe 9
I would LOVE to talk to your dad about his job. I'm a RVT and running fecals is a big part of my job. I see some really cool parasites and would love to know how often humans contact the zoonotic ones.
GeorgeBoosh 0
I think, but I'm not too sure, it's his way of saying his Dad is gay.
danceintherain_ 0
http://www.ihatestacy.com/index.php?id=c66ee44265ba3b89d30a5c5e1165d13c
ipwnallmen 10
wtf what happened to my comment!!! I had said, guess it was a shitty day or something like it, and wtf now! stupid commenting system, idiot site, dumbass fml staff.. this is a reply to 1.. this is so blow!
Endo22 0
FYDL **** your dads life. Honestly you're mad about one day, that guy lives the shit 24/7. (no pun intended)
krnmafia92 0
He probably make a lot of money, since he's doing a job that no one likes to do.
tisiphone_fml 0
^^^ this. Research job, in a less than desirable field. Big bucks there, and plenty of guidelines to stay sanitary.
CBR77 0
Same shit, different day. xD
Sockturtle 17
Stephen King quote?
netfreak 0
talk about the ass end of a career choice
mrburling92 0
Well, if your dad knows that you don't like his job i don't think that it would be terribly out of line to decline and just keep trying to find one. And you probably should have tried looking for someone ahead of time instead of just waiting at the last moment like I would have. Preperation pays off.
turdburgers 0
Preparation H?
mrburling92 0
Yes Preperation H
ipwnallmen 10
3 and 4 FTW!!!
RyanKaufman 7
Yeah, that's not even Mike Rowe worthy.
youthink_fml 0
So what?! I'm sure you wore protection and it's only one day. Some people cry about every little thing.
Microbiologist 0
There is nothing wrong with looking at stool samples! Get the **** over yourself. It's not a FML to do that, it's really interesting, if you catch a good one you just changed someones life long term. I hope you get Taenia and no one looks at your stool.
Microbiologist 0
nub - me! (clue's in the user name!)
Malinkrot 3
there are things you can do everyday that are bad such as crack
swgipe 9
I wish cryptosporidium on them (: --Registered Vet Tech
lebeek 0
nom nom.