Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
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Top comments
abu4u 26
It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.
rhysfucker 24
You need curtains or blinds.
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Comments (82)
rhysfucker 24
You need curtains or blinds.
rylaii 26
They were probably in a car
incoherentrmblr 22
I can only imagine the homeless guy doing a sports announcer imitation...
Nailpolishaholic 20
'He shoots, he scores!! Uh oh, he couldn't pull out in time. Looks like it's penalty for the next 18 years!'
xx000o 27
If you were in your car then ydi. If you were at home in the city then either quiet down or close the shades or both. If you were in the country then shoot him for trespassing.
Dlzq 22
That's unfortunate, hope he didn't ruin it too much for you.
150493x 29
I'd imagine when someone stands and stares through the window and does a voice over the sex would instantly be ruined.
I_see_your_anger 10
How would that ruin it? If anything it made it better.
Nysha 17
I'm impressed that you're more concerned about the voiceover than about the fact that the homeless person was having sex with your boyfriend.
Magnettik 16
Whaaaat ? They never said that
shutupshane12 12
#3 I think you need to re read the post, that definately did not happen
feven 32
They kind of did with OP's choice of wording.
iShanny 13
It's okay, #3, some of us did get the joke.
SubparAtBest 23
haha yes, the homeless man was getting it on... such wording
jazzy_123 20
grammar changes everything :)
sunnyskys 25
welp I tried to understand what everyone is talking about but I guess it went over my head lol oh well
WMFG16 14
#3 This is the greatest comment of all time lol
WMFG16 14
& #99 you have once again proved your ignorance
abu4u 26
It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.
openminded8 17
or James Earl Jones :)
sstahpp 33
Doesn't matter, had sex.
sunnyskys 25
it was the best thirty seconds lol akon
WMFG16 14
#100 akon didn't say that.. It was Andy Samberg
Wizardo 34
"This March, in an epic battle of love and backseat intercourse. One couple struggle to get jiggy with it... Cumming to a parking lot near you... Sex Drive"
Skoff_fml 27
dafuq? were you in a car?
150493x 29
Houses have windows too.
abNormal62 23
Would've been better if he started reciting Paradise by the dashboard light
MRSwick2525 23
The sad part is that most people on here won't understand what you're saying by that #13. But I agree with you completely!
CaroAurelia 12
I swore I would love you to the end of time, so now I'm praying for the end of time (best line in the song)
Crazyjohnb 23
naw, Morgan Freeman impresssion.
xswitch74 17
You didn't see that coming But he did!! (That's so terrible omhg) On the plus side ... sex???
abNormal62 23
Lmfao
Miss_Whipped 43
As long as it wasn't comparable to a sports commentary, you shouldn't feel too offended. But you definitely deserve it if you're either having sex in a car in broad daylight, or if you don't have enough decency to cover your windows/blinds. (I voted FYL and YDI, personally.)
jaymartino86 10
Hah I voted for both too. Sucks ya got caught... but you let yourself get caught
1dvs_bstd 41
'it's a tough game... oh hang on! the boy twists right, now he turns left.. he thrusts it through the middle... he shoots... he SCORES!!!'