Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
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Top comments
abu4u 26
It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.
rhysfucker 24
You need curtains or blinds.
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Comments (82)
psycho_chick98 12
yes that really does suck...but thanks for the laugh
albertozeta_fml 9
Genius!
joshi42 16
I think we all agree, that we need a transcript of his voice-over.
Levvy 22
I was going to say we're missing exactly where this happened (out in public? At home by a window?), but I think you've hit the really important omission.
angryo5trich 13
Close the blinds lmao
ethanoneal 1
That's actually pretty funny, at least he added new context to your situation.
someguyhere 12
I cant see it now! "In a world were he came early... She assured him that it happens to all men but he would soon find out she was lying!"
Barthanax 9
That's hilarious. I can just imagine some random guy narrating the whole thing.
Nevrdai 5
Humor probably gets him through the day. That's not something you do to be perverted, that's something you do to try to be funny when you're a messed up dude.
LyraAlluse 25
I used to narrate what couples were doing in public like a host from the animal planet so I find this hilarious. Sorry OP, but I think I have to side with the homeless dude.
WMFG16 14
That's awesome though? That would be the funniest shit ever