Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Maybe you'll have to explain things a little more with this one. Maybe also mention where she could go if she knew she was awake. Not just that she could go if she was awake :P
russiancat464 12
cleanup on aisle 9!
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Comments (70)
feven 32
Wetting the bed or peeing everywhere?
khaoticpanda 28
I believe OP said wetting the bed
PurpleSprite 7
SIGH don't worry, #1. I got the joke.
russiancat464 12
cleanup on aisle 9!
Swandive235 27
Yeah, four year olds aren't very compliant. Or smart...
ninety 25
On the contrary, I have met some very smart four year olds. As cliche as it sounds, it's all in how a child is brought up.
cutycat136 28
Maybe you'll have to explain things a little more with this one. Maybe also mention where she could go if she knew she was awake. Not just that she could go if she was awake :P
SeanLewis 17
Urine a lot of trouble with the store now.
mellajella 14
I bet the janitor is pissed off.
fakedsincerity 32
at least he wasn't pissed on.
ProfessorMctitie 20
pee on her
UhHuhHoney 20
Wtf is wrong with you?
1dvs_bstd 41
I don't think OP's R Kelly.
usaidwhat82 21
Right, like it's such a great idea to pee on your own child.
ShowMeKay 20
As opposed to any other child #30? Haha I got what you meant though :)
Caroline_Grace_ 20
Kids. Whatcha gonna do about them?
ComoEsJuan 24
Teach them. Make them learn things. Oh, you know, the right things to do and stuff.
201chasew 22
That sounds like a lot of effort #17. I don't think many people do that anymore.
rayman173 2
not have them.......solves all problems
kaseyyeahh 7
man your kids retarded
abNormal62 23
Spoken like a person who has never had a kid or a conscience. She will be toilet trained shortly How long will it take you to develop tact and respect!
1dvs_bstd 41
A four year old kid is retarded for peeing? You need a hug, bro?
boboates 17
Maybe you should tell her to you when she has to go
davisjenny81 30
Is any one else utterly confused by this comment?
Invictus_Anima 5
#33 I think they meant that the daughter should tell the mother when she, the daughter, has to use the bathroom.
davisjenny81 30
Oh! that makes more sense! Earth to aliens!
ShadowGenius 12
Evil genius. She knew she was awake
abNormal62 23
She just had to widdle Cause she's so little