Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
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Top comments
abu4u 26
It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.
rhysfucker 24
You need curtains or blinds.
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Comments (82)
ODST_Panda 12
ted Williams is that you, did you come back
sprints54 19
Ok and????
uchihadesendent 14
my goal is to be a voice actor but to read a funny fml today made my day
LethalSeamonkey 15
Plot twist they live on the 24th floor.
syed121417 22
I have to admit that is pretty funny but such a mood killer. Always remember to close the curtains/blinds!
phreaker913 21
maybe close the window next time?
CO_RRA 11
Close the blinds, you animal!
JKPwnage 27
"And now, the male repeatedly thrusts his penis into the female's ******..."
copperhead757 3
I'll be honest I laughed at this
verysmarmy 11
I like the sound of this homeless guy. When you're done being creeped out, could you introduce me to him?