Today, I tried a trick my friend taught me; I initiated sex as my husband was getting ready for work, then guilted him when he refused. After he left, I texted my friend that her trick worked wonderfully. Too bad I sent it to my husband instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I told my husband that I missed how exciting it was when we were dating, so he pretended to sneak into my room through the window, we had sex, then fell asleep. All very exciting. Then the bastard actually snuck out while I was still asleep, and didn’t call me all day. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Why would you do that? Was it funny? Good for a chuckle with your friend at your husband's expense? Keep it up, darlin', he won't put up with that kind of disrespect and disregard forever. FHL
d j mom 9
I still don't get the ' texting the wrong person' bs. anyone who does that is either lying or dumb as a rock. you're an ass for messing with your husband anyway. you don't say what you were trying to achieve.
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Comments (4)
stickyface 17
Why would you do that? Was it funny? Good for a chuckle with your friend at your husband's expense? Keep it up, darlin', he won't put up with that kind of disrespect and disregard forever. FHL
sirrubberduckie 37
What would that ever have accomplished? Would you like it if he did something mean to you?
d j mom 9
I still don't get the ' texting the wrong person' bs. anyone who does that is either lying or dumb as a rock. you're an ass for messing with your husband anyway. you don't say what you were trying to achieve.
idragosani 17
What did you think this was supposed to accomplish?