Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
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Top comments
HAMY_fml 23
That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op
james98e 15
If I were you, I'd be up in flames!
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Comments (128)
lady_lipz 7
Later on in life, daddy will wonder how he ended up raising an arsonist.....
k8Pluss 8
Sounds like a precursor to Benny and Joon.
calucalay 13
I hate to pull the counseling card but OP I suggest you go see a counselor at school or an adult you trust. That is not a safe environment to be in and you could be seriously hurt or killed one day due to a tantrum. Your sister needs help and spoiling her does not make it better. Your parents are favoring one child over the other and the way they are doing it is not okay at all. Please talk to another adult before someone gets hurt.
cdawgtate 9
What the ****
Gityerchicken 12
I have 3 kids and my youngest has Tourette's. The outbursts are stressful but as a parent I do my job and teach him to be accountable for his actions and i supervise him always because he will try to lash out at his brothers. It's my job to teach him right from wrong, keep him compliant with his medication, and make sure he meets weekly with his psychologist. Sorry OP, your dad needs parenting classes and you need to get yourself in a safe situation.
tiggerlover100 27
How old is your sister?! If she's young enough to want dolls how could she have even realized she was a pyro. Why was she allowed to play with fire in the first place to realize she liked setting things on fire?
miriamfrank 22
How old is this sister?
sprints54 19
Ah hell no Id punch that bitch little sister in the face she could of burned down the house and then I'd kick a field goal with your dads balls for allowing that shit.
infinitemonkey 21
You need to talk to your school counselor about this and see if you can come up with a strategy. Your father's denial helps no one, least of all your sister.
conholio33 28
Sorry to hear that op Hope one day your sister will stop with the pyro tendencies