Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
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Top comments
HAMY_fml 23
That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op
james98e 15
If I were you, I'd be up in flames!
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Comments (128)
A_Gebhardt 2
A dollhouse?? How young is she and why the hell isn't the little firestarter in therapy?!?!
TallMist 32
I set fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire to the sibling! Watched you burn as you turned to ash!
skitterkat 8
wow. shittiest parents ever. they're enabling her mental illness by reinforcing her with toys. she should be punished and given a stern talking to. obviously from the states lol
TallMist 32
They're obviously from the states, but not because they're horrible relatives, but because it says so on the FML. Do you honestly believe there's no bad people in any other country?
NickACD 27
I love to burn things, it's not some bullshit mental condition, I just love fire.
sarahj13 13
If she's diagnosed with that condition I'm pretty sure parents are obligated to seek help. If she's not already in therapy, make her go, even if your father disapproves explain to him how much worse it can get. Sounds like she is already starting bigger fires be careful and remove all lighters and matches from the house. My sister has a minor form of pyromania she got better with medication. Keep in mind pyromania is like addiction, the more she lights fires the more she will continue to do so. Clearly remind her that she is better than her disease and to not succumb to her addiction.
deviousangel89 13
Wow... call child services!
Batmanmike 5
Call child services no sister to burn your bed sheets now :)
KnivesDrache 5
Sorry to hear about your sleeping arrangements. Just wish your parents knew that she doesn't have a "condition" she is just developing criminal tendencies. I have gotten tired of people who look at me with contempt when they hear I am a Pyro and instantly assume I like burning things. I am NOT an arsonist, I just like to (temporarily) control one of the hardest elements to control. I do it in a handmade (with safety in mind) fire pit built by my Dad, with a bucket of water AND a garden hose (with the water turned on) nearby. If not there, then I do it in my Dad's fireplace and am always careful about the flammables nearby. Sorry this whole comment seemed to become about me. Didn't mean that to happen.
Rababco 29
Have you thought of being a firefighter or pyrotechnic? Sounds like you might like it. You seem to be more of a daredevil, like sims in Sims 3 with the daredevil trait who like to play with fire.
suth97 9
That is bad parenting. It's wrong that your dad is encouraging her behavior by rewarding her whether he realizes it or not. Sorry about your bed, OP.
rinzlerkitty94 31
Your parents aren't worried she'll light that on fire?