Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
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Top comments
HAMY_fml 23
That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op
james98e 15
If I were you, I'd be up in flames!
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Comments (128)
Witchylady 18
She needs to be institutionalised or get therapy before she kills some one! She is a danger to society. And your parent needs to face the fact that she is a nutter
nobiscis 7
To those trolls who said he deserved this, how the **** would he deserve this? He did nothing in this equation
IcemistDragon 20
I bet they wouldn't have been as calm if it had been their own bed sheets or maybe a piece of living room furniture. .. Your sibling needs help... If it escalates there's a good chance the house is somewhere on the list =/
shinikageWolf 15
Even if you did provoke her, burning things isn't the answer to conflict! Little arsonist.
ripleythebard 12
Sounds like your sister might also be a sociopath, and/or pathological liar.
thes7274473 19
And parents say they don't have favorites
nameisname 12
You should light her bed on fire and blame her. Or you can say she is driving you crazy and what ever happens you are not reliable for your actions
StephiBelle 11
Shit
elizabeth4166 16
Set her on fire
wordsandzombies 12
Man I'd get so fired up about that.