Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML
Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
Let him answer awkward questions. Better than scaring your sister.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
tell him him to keep his screwing at an inaudible volume so that way you and your sibling don't have to listen or if not he can have THE TALK to his daughter. he should wisen up then
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Comments (11)
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
tell him him to keep his screwing at an inaudible volume so that way you and your sibling don't have to listen or if not he can have THE TALK to his daughter. he should wisen up then
skippydoda 32
Let him answer awkward questions. Better than scaring your sister.
Mark W. Noonan_969479943 5
Hey sorry I accidentally reported your comment. I do apologize. Stubby fingers.
RichardPencil 32
You should have told your sister that it was the sound when daddy sticks his wee-wee into that lady's vajayjay. That's less scary?
jbuckets_404 39
Then tell your dad that you're NOT grounded anymore else you'll either tell your sister the truth right then or next time simply send her to HIS room for safety when said "ghosts" make (too much) noise.... Problem solved!
Mark W. Noonan_969479943 5
Hang in there. No good deed goes unpunished.
Silverion Sairee 14
Probably should've come up with a better excuse, instead of ghosts how about ghost movie? just say dad & his girlfriend was watching a movie.
alycion 39
I don’t think there was much time to put thought into it. A movie or the tv probably would have worked. But it’s easy to come up with excuses when you aren’t on the spot. Just convince her it’s a protective one if she gets scared or your dad can come up with his own explanation. We are going into fall. The paranormal stuff is all the rage. That’s a common first jump to answer when trying to think quick.
tounces7 28
Really? That was your best explanation?
hamburgerjung 23
Dad is playing a secret grown-up game with (enter girlfriends name here). But you can’t ask about it until you‘re (enter lower age than yourself but higher age than your sister here) otherwise the code of the game says you never get to learn the secret rules! Problem solved.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Tell her to ask her dad next time...