Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
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Top comments
HAMY_fml 23
That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op
james98e 15
If I were you, I'd be up in flames!
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Comments (128)
Catdragon 40
set her dollhouse on fire. that will teach her.
Calacor 17
yout father sucks (no offense)
skyeyez9 25
All I can think of is the meme of the creepy looking 8yr old girl smirking at the camera, while the house in front of her is being consumed by an inferno.
Omniprism 15
WTF!
thatsme293 28
The bed sheets were on fire. Is there nothing he finds wrong with this?
whassallt26 13
Sounds like she has a genuine condition if that's your dads reasoning, yeah it'd make you angry but you shouldn't go seeking 'revenge' on her
NostalgiaFreak9 43
She needs to get help before she burns down something worse. I can't believe your father is aware of your sister's condition and just irresponsibly leaves out a lighter she can easily get her hands on, and he still blames you for burning your sheets. And he gets her a doll house? Social services would love hearing this story.
Randomness90 27
negative reenforcement, she will probably burn/ damage something else to get something she wants.
limabeans101029 21
*Positive reinforcement
Tymaster5 22
Get revenge a burn that doll house down.
pyrexicpoet 18
So light the dollhouse on fire and say you have a mental condition