Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
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Top comments
HAMY_fml 23
That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op
james98e 15
If I were you, I'd be up in flames!
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Comments (128)
xluciferx666 21
Time to burn down the dollhouse and say your sister must have done it
fabcade 14
Seriously call child services
BlackFire4890 16
two words... MOVE OUT
viggysmallz 8
As a now adult sibling of someone with mental issues, I can understand more where my mother was coming from when I was "punished" for my brothers violent outbursts. While it may not make sense, it it ridiculously stressful for a parent to have a mentally troubled child. So they may punish the stronger child to feel like they still have control as parents, and also potentially for your safety. I was once banned from my house daily from 7am to 10pm for three weeks in high school because my brother was becoming increasingly aggressive towards me. Now I see my mom was doing it for my safety as well as she new I was stronger than him and could go someplace during this time. It was hard for her to do but it kept me safe and kept my brother calm. So I'm here for you OP if you need anything.
Starham1 14
As a fellow pyromaniac, I am here to tell you that pyromania is only provoked in a few isolated cases. Most of the time, the person will do it regardless.
Brandi_Faith 34
And not only that, but it usually escalates.
burristhethird 16
Calmly take your pyro sister, light your dad's bed on fire, and throw your sister into it... Then take her out of course, don't kill her, once she gets burned by a flaming bed she'll probably stop liking fire that much. Once dad comes in, say that your sister set it on fire because she didn't like the doll house... After burning that up too.
1947Chevy 17
Ian's people wonder what's wrong with kids these days
mergeterge 24
Whose Ian?
Peachtranquility 15
is this the plot to a horror movie??
bamagirl850 7
How old is she?
laaryssa 21
You need to contact a doctor or an officer or therapist or the fire department now