Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
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Top comments
naddification 7
You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
Did she use her tears as lube?
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Comments (295)
MoodyBlue320 11
Aw, it actually sounds sweet that he feels that way and wanted her to stop. You can see he really loves her.
cass1_l0ve 13
OP should call the "I've-just-been-raped" hotline... I would post the number here but honestly I don't know it. Find that number OP and call it!!!
cass1_l0ve 13
Maybe it's like 1-800-got-rape ??? Yeah, that seems right :))
n0way07 3
Lmao wow, if u manged to finish than u are a monster lol
bballforward33 10
Hahahaha true that
Skills69 0
Fake story
aimeesea75 16
...one eyed monster.
kawgreen259 2
Hahaha that would turn me on even more!
perdix 31
How do you manage to come with the sound of her crying? Did you put on your iPod and tell her to keep yanking?
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
You poor man... I am so sorry... And SO confused as to what's wrong with her... But how didn't you go soft is what I don't understand ??? Whatever ... Lol tmi don't wanna know
Fylminesawsome 5
Maybe it stunk. Take a shower OP.
FunwithBumperCar 0
I'm guessing the proper term is cactus dick?