Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
carlycrf 8
did you swallow?
iHaveADream_ 0
hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;
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Comments (258)
iHaveADream_ 0
hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;
mclovin12194 0
haha pwned
joooeee 3
No one cares about the cast of skins
joooeee 3
No, I'm just the "I say it how it is" guy if you were referring to me.
joooeee 3
you got me there. I suck at math. But really, I'm just saying no one cares about them because I'm in America and they're not. So yeah you're kinda right.
joooeee 3
Damn I need to catch up on modern entertainment. I lose.
Zebidee 9
Hershey's Kisses? Those things are God-awful. American chocolate has an after-taste that tastes like vomit.
fthku 13
joooeee - What does you being American have to do with caring or not caring about the British cast of Skins? Also, OP, your girlfriend's funny. If she's a squirter you could try the same move, though I doubt it's as easy. Or just use your.... "weapon" as you put it.
TXjuggalo972 6
go skins!!
Quyzl 0
Focus on the issue at hand. There is a young man with cum in his hair who needs funny things said at his expense.
Zebidee 9
"issue at hand" *snigger*
hatestheworld 0
Dude shut up
toqwert 0
159- remove the "s" in "snigger," it's snicker by the way.
kirstyannemiller 4
You do.
FrenchToast94 0
rofl that's the "first" time ive ever heard of something like that!
sammy432 0
yea u didn't get first...
HoustonER 0
ownedddd ^
Falcon_My_Life 0
Looks like its the "second" time you've heard something like that. Noob
Deservesit22 1
Some people just can't count....
Deservesit22 1
Wonder if she knows how to count to the numbers in her name 1,2,3,8,16,20,9 9,1,7,80,2,577,400, I can't Am I the OP?
therealdavid 0
Aren't you a far shooter
FrenchToast94 0
ok, first im a guy.... and I messes up, whoo hoo, everyone does it look at the time frames me and the first person practically tied maybe a second or 2 apart..
claireful 4
^^^ Doesn't matter; you were still enough of a dipwad to post a "first" comment.
Ololo_fml 16
"I can dance all day, I can dance all day! Try hit me, try hit me, common!.."
maddycakes19 0
hahaha that is added to my favorites!
joe2155 1
mine too
daaron 3
same here damn dude sucks to be you lol how does your cum taste like my babygirl wouldn't waste it haha fyl loser
Princessdani16 0
Lmfao mine also!!!
USAF_girl 3
And boom goes the dynamite!! lol
PaisleyKing90 0
ahh I love your picture thing!!!
brookeac 3
Me too
melissamoshh 0
Wow
noto_fml 0
very good reply here. seems it was well thought out
Nick_1993 2
haha
crudeandrudeguy 29
Be nice. She's hot. She gets a free pass.
carlycrf 8
did you swallow?
joooeee 3
Not really that great of a comment. But good job getting brownie points with the hot chick.
Miss_Michaela 10
Hahaha. Well said Joooeee. :D
carlycrf 8
Ummm thats not creepy D:
leovic 0
I think I would like to come out on ur face
sammy92 0
lolz
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
Only 9 comments posted, yet well tought out, FML has a bright future with these new comments maestros. :P
Nick_1993 2
do you?
konpaito 5
Thanks for standing still, wanker.
TehPiGuy 0
Yer best keep lyin' down!
MrFancy 0
Son, I told ya don't touch that darn thing! Oh, and that is an awesome hat(s)!
7447 0
this comment ftw
TheDrifter 24
Pink eye scene?
Sweetie2u 1
can you get pink eye from cum?
scullster 0
no shit
perdix 31
At least you've got good range. A similar thing happened to me when I was receiving a ******* and the girl decided to use her mouth to start a conversation right at the moment of truth. She did do a nice job of cleaning me up ;)
ScipioAfricanus 0
Perdix ftw
brt3420 13
cum shot... RANK sucks bro
GawZ 0
get her in the braces next time