Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
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Top comments
naddification 7
You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
Did she use her tears as lube?
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Comments (295)
asherm 15
Maybe she should have hopped on and enjoyed the ride....Always make me more cheerful ;). Seriously though, wonder why she was crying? Is she a virgin and feeling guilty?
j_cat187 20
Forcing a woman to give you a hand-job sounds like an evil thing to do.
docscientist 10
Did you read the Fml?
Snow_Daisy 7
Start screaming, "Rape!" at the top of your lungs. That'll make her think twice next time. -you're welcome.
CadyAsInKatie 8
I just want to know why she started crying!!
b1gphil 6
at least you got a hand job
ILoveTabz 0
She's a keeper
TheKingDon 2
Like you couldn't stop a crying girl from jerking you off? You worthless piece of shit.
stephanyk2 7
That's exactly what I've been saying.
downtime 13
...I bet you say that to girls after you're finished with them. Some people choose not to get physical with their partner, maybe you like to throw yours around like a piece of meat but others like to use words.
ilovepandaz 2
Shes sending you on a guilt trip that way you wont ask for a handjob again ;)
xSorry_fml 10
What? Ummmm... what? This does not compute.
screamo_neve 12
This made me think of a song by Skillet. "I- I feel like a MONSTER!" Yeah, I'm doped up...
ladyLALAA 29
Or gaga, that boy is a monster, mamamamonster!