Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Honest
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Creepy
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Bored
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Really into it
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
If only…
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Feelings
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Top comments
joliesbebes 0
well in situations like these it's best to ask for feedback. you could try "what am I doing wrong" or "what would you like me to do?" if she doesn't say anything then at least you tried?
alexFYL 11
FTR there is not really any such thing as "loose", the ****** is basically elastic. Even if you go from a giant 6" diameter ***** down to your bf's 1.5" diameter penis, the ****** would still retain its original shape. It's like a balloon. The only time it's loose is after child birth, and even then it goes back to... well, more or less the original shape. Kegels help. ... Furthermore, being loose would not change how bad the OP's lovemaking is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
BruisedGiraffe 15
that sucks
thedevilwithin 0
You probably don't suck. She just might be loose.
alexFYL 11
FTR there is not really any such thing as "loose", the ****** is basically elastic. Even if you go from a giant 6" diameter ***** down to your bf's 1.5" diameter penis, the ****** would still retain its original shape. It's like a balloon. The only time it's loose is after child birth, and even then it goes back to... well, more or less the original shape. Kegels help. ... Furthermore, being loose would not change how bad the OP's lovemaking is.
alexFYL 11
*It's even more irrelevant considering the OP is a girl.
sloppyflow 1
she just want op to suck at IT.
shannonreneee 11
Frustrates me when the term loose is used? Another reason for women to feel self conscious if they have a colourful sex life. Our vaginas are well trained :)
kemolegend907 0
# 61 give me your number ;)
kingtz 6
27, while you're correct that all vaginas are generally elastic, there is no specific or consistent elasticity and varies from woman to woman. Thus, is it not possible that some vaginas are less elastic and taut than others, and therefore, considered as "looser"?
jane79 0
sorry op your girl sounds like she needs taught how to give constructive criticism. if you want to stay with her then you should ask her what she wants or likes or have her show you what it is that gets the job done, everyones different in what satisfies them so you can make this in to a g game and make it fun don't get down on yourself
TurnpikeTwister 0
Whether or not OP's gf is "loose" has nothing to do with the FML. Notice how he phrased the act as "making love"? Obviously the OP cares very much about the girl and was trying to satisfy her, and for her to criticize his performance when all she's doing is just laying there is well, just plain bitchy. It's not always the guy's fault ladies, reciprocation is key and can make an entire world of difference. OP, you deserve better, get rid of her ASAP.
aruges93 12
op is a girl if you didn't notice
TurnpikeTwister 0
Yeah I guess I should've caught that, so used to reading these in a bf/gf context, not that I think there's anything wrong with being gay, it's all good. All the same OP, your gf needs to be knocked down a peg or two, because it is just as much her fault and she shouldn't be attacking your self esteem like that if she really does love you as much as you love her.
DarwinWillFixIt 11
Eve elastic tends to wear out.
Iknoweverything 29
Turnpike Twister, sometimes the term "making love" is more comfortable for some, there ARE people out there who have sex without loving each other, and they still call it making love. And I'm of the mind that her significant other was a lot more sensitive than most people would be... at the very least, OP knows she needs to improve, and her girlfriend respected her enough to let her know it wasn't working. Op could have ASKED how to make it better. People who just fake it don't really care enough about their partner to want the relationship work in the long run.
Eggers 2
31- :O good catch.
Dixie19 0
the person who wrote this is a girl.
simply_improper 1
i made a guy stop in the middle of sex, told him i was tired and sent him home. cause he was horrible. he would put his whole body weight on me. i couldnt breathe let alone enjoy it
Igor_g5 0
27. You are so wrong. There is such a a thing as loose. My ex was so loose that I had to put my legs outside of hers so I could feel it. Have trouble getting into my current GF so I'm not small. pussys are not all the same size. And yes, sometimes they stretch and don't come back. Obviously you have very little experience. I've been around the block many times. And some are very loose and some are really tight.
arianylas 3
Reference #68. >.> You don't know anything. Women come in all sizes, not just in body (as in tall or short), but also their vaginas. There is no such thing as "loose." It implies that having lots of sex somehow makes the ****** permanently bigger, and it's just not true. Sometimes it can become more elastic with more sex, easier to stretch and shrink back. Sometimes not. Sometimes a girl is naturally bigger or smaller than the "average," or has a greater or lesser elasticity. But vaginas never stretch and "don't come back." I don't care how many women you've been with (manwhore), it doesn't make you more knowledgeable about the female body.
logcabin69 0
yeah and men's penises shrink if they have sex with different size women.... sounds dumb huh. if a woman can go back to size after pushing a baby out,, I'm sure even the biggest **** wouldn't phase the ******!!
AnagenisisZagus 13
16, people who birth and have 11 pound babies can still have a good ol' time in the sack. Being "loose" would have nothing to do with it.
EvilPotato 15
she tells it as it is.
zakkyzebra 11
27, if you keep a balloon held taut for a while(or release the air out of one that's been blown up for days) you can clearly see it's not as tight as before. So, if she masturbated with a hardcore ***** and passes out with it inside of her.... *shudders*
ollallie 0
wow this is a pretty gross conversation... why are we talking about vaginas now? lol
dbss11 3
lol is there any more tread on the tire? is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?? haha
RileyL29 0
Family Guy FTW!(:
dbss11 3
haha yea^^ she got it :)
dav3800 7
Nobody got the pun... *facepalm*
EvilPotato 15
this is the weirdest comment thread ever, how did we even start talking about ******'s? it's been going on forever.
MXXD17 0
sorry to hear that
ollallie 0
I would rather just stay virgin until marriage!!! that's true love
ollallie 0
or that's just how I was raised you can still love someone and be intimate
IscoreOnU 19
Ollallie but think of it this way. You dont have sex till your married. And when you do their terrible and your stuck with them. After all what's love without sex? And bad sex means no sex. From what I hear no sex means relationship doom.
scarfist23c 0
I agree with both of you but one only gets better by doing it. No one is great the first time.
hedgerow 0
Constructive.
sailorzoe 14
For real. Constructive criticism. Get better at sex.
Iknoweverything 29
YES! How many idiotic men out there think they are good in bed because their previous girlfriends spent the relationship faking? Good that someone can tell their partner that they aren't up to par! (Yes, I know OP is a girl... guys would just make an excuse as to why it's the girl's fault)
Mitcha857 0
I honestly would rather take constructive criticism though rather than like most girls do and fake orgasms and basically lie to me at the most intimate moment in a relationship
ollallie 0
well I like being virgin now were all happy
Poepiepiesie 3
i ******* hate christians who deny us beautiful boobs. It's a shame the church was earlier with abusing the stupidity of so much american peroxide blondes
Unicorntails 7
^ what?
Ademus 0
lol that's kinda bitchy. Seeing as you still have control of the situation I suggest you exact revenge immediately!
schmelia 10
Who said he was in control?
schmelia 10
*she
kingtz 6
Exact revenge by sticking a finger (or three) in her butt. No warning and no lube!
ollallie 0
awww what a cute puppy
zach456 0
hahaha that's a fail dude but anyway fyl
7dsytheory 3
the OPs name is kaite so it's not a dude
ProhibitionRose 14
ahahaha owned
IscoreOnU 19
Watch some ****. Learn some moves. Blow her mind.
EveyxOxO 1
lol riiight
xx7000girlxx 0
Then you have to be better :P :D
tree07 1
As Kelso on that 70's show would say.... BURNED!
vikkialex 0
Dude, you need a new girl.
ZackFev 6
Get angry about it, and use that anger towards rough sex. If you still can't please her I don't know what else to say
joliesbebes 0
well in situations like these it's best to ask for feedback. you could try "what am I doing wrong" or "what would you like me to do?" if she doesn't say anything then at least you tried?
Daerauko 0
yeah maybe it's OP's first lesbian experience and needs a little guidance. her girlfriend should do more than just lay there not having fun and then just complain when she doesn't get what she wants.
DesB 7
Fist her in the front an the back! Then say "How's that for ya!!!" Bet she will moan an groan then...maybe not in pleaser but she will... Ugh that hurts me just thinking about it...
jessieTM 0
pleasure, dumb ass
awesomeooo3 0
Hmm, at least she's honest I suppose? :S Rather than your girlfriend saying that, she should encourage you and make suggestions on how you can improve. Sorry OP :/
guizmooo_fml 1
i don't think she deserves him to ask her these questions!!! she could have talk to him in another way and not while they were doing it!!
iAmScrubs 19
OP- since you are both girls (judging by your name) let her try and see if she does am better.
iAmScrubs 19
*any
felipe87 2
I noticed that too. I thought girls were suppose to be good at licking other girls?
alexFYL 11
Why? Each girl is different, it's not like you jam your tongue in there and call it a day. (Take note, boys)
cgchamp89 7
For real? Damnit. No wonder I get dumped everytime I do that...
imcutefml 0
37 ur my hero.... *taking notes*
TheDrifter 24
Though they're all different shouldn't there be enough similarities for her to do what she likes as a baseline and work from there?
Sarababyyy94 0
I completely agree with this statement! when there are two girls; each should try equally (:
zachhasse 0
let me try it on you ;)
mozeltov 7
slap that hoe and tell to go make you a sandwich