Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
tooyoungtooold 11
In all honesty I think it may be the closeness of the hug combined with the psychological reasoning that she really trusts you is what gave you the hard-on
sk8s4d8s 15
This happened to me once, dicks have a mind of their own
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Comments (104)
ginger196 14
Well, I'm sure that you had a reason, right?
jerryj 27
Correct. One that he'll never understand.
worldclassrager 41
And to nullify this most guys just think with the wrong head...
nikmiester 7
.
kristabelli 19
I don't think it's that uncommon for a guy to get turned on by a woman crying, actually.
Llama_Face89 34
Those damn things don't need a reason. They pop up at the most inconvenient times possible. Pretty sure they sense it... "Oh hey you're hugging your grandma? GOOD MORNING!!"
tooyoungtooold 11
In all honesty I think it may be the closeness of the hug combined with the psychological reasoning that she really trusts you is what gave you the hard-on
sayyestothedress 24
My thoughts exactly! (Maybe not word for word but something like what #2 said)
MzZombicidal 36
So then /not/ exactly, #7? :P
thebigtwinkie 28
or maybe... he is...
fivetimeslonger 24
OP! Tell her what #2 said! Problem solved. And surprising her with something she loves (even just making her a cup of coffee/tea or something simple) will probably score some brownie points. Good luck, -Crazy girlfriend to a lovely man who gracefully puts up with my craziness.
gatorclay97 28
Or maybe it was a Physical reaction to a physiological condition that was created when he was raped by a childhood priest, that causes him to be turned on by emotional pain... Just sayin...
tgmc012 9
I'm sure feeling like her protector boosted testosterone levels. As long as OP didn't ask her to touch while she was crying, that'd be a dick move (no pun intended), than it's understandable. Albeit bad timing.
Pauline96_fml 20
If I were op I'd tell her this
sk8s4d8s 15
This happened to me once, dicks have a mind of their own
WolliBolli 23
only once? cuddleboner is almost mandatory. Ofc only with your significant other, if not family gatherings would be weird..
Corey122726 17
25 I mean I don't cuddle with any of my family to get a "cuddleboner"..... So I guess, yes, that would be extremely awkward.
garrett_8614 14
I really wish more girls would understand that guys can get hard at any time for no good reason at all. Happens to the best of us.
WolliBolli 23
Im just saying that sometimes, all it takes is a prolonged hug, and i dont usually cuddle with my family no. By usually i mean never.
worldclassrager 41
I have heard that happen before...but I think it's a trigger due to a embrace or a sign of true love... That should clear up soon at least I hope OP
jellybeens_fml 16
Maybe it's just a random boner that all guys get and find annoying
lil_ham1644 29
New pick up line for guys! "We are meant to be. I have a true love boner"
SarahSehhati 40
I hope you explained to her that it was the hug and not her pain or crying that turned you on. Hopefully she'll understand and you guys can move forward :)
Insertnamesz 3
Could even be something other than the hug! Guys get them randomly.. Like.. I've gotten one while doing math homework. It just happens.
Fuzy2K 7
Was it really sexy math?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
The parabola was probably the nicest curve you would've ever seen.
Miss_Terri 2
well, sick bastards need lovin' too
VancouverGuy89 9
Just tell her it was because you had to pee so bad guys you know what I mean
feven 32
Dumbass.
JMichael 26
Idk about most guys but I've never gotten a boner when I've had to pee..
Dekat121 24
no but you can give yourself a boner so you physically cant pee. and if you can pee when you have a boner please go see a doctor, clearly there is something wrong with your urethra and it needs to be checked out.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
#46. Are you a male? From your profile it doesn't seem like it. I, along with every other male, have urinated while having a boner.
King_paradox 22
He's technically right, but you can. But you shouldn't be able too.
realtingdis 12
plus it kinda hurts.
TokingItUp 6
I would agree & morning wood always reminds us to piss with our bodies at a 90 degree angle lest we hit ourselves!
kittina 22
I thought women's tears contained pheromones that turned men off
SheepShoop_fml 20
On a general basis, crying is a turn off. We are hard-wired to console, regardless of who is shedding the tears. But then crying itself is surrounded by all sorts of nonsense culturally so our reactions to it are often inappropriate.
dannnngthatsux 19
They do. But the power of boobs is stronger. Sometimes you think one thing and your body thinks another. Ala Robin Williams and KoKo the ape.
moniqueee18 13
I guess she really did have a hard day
nikmiester 7
Haha
nmw404 6
cool