Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking about?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
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Comments (166)
ThomasAZ 3
Doggy style!
AyeTee77 18
That will probably just make her cry more.
ambowew 7
At least she won't be able to see his face, then.
RealChinese 7
@10 More importantly he won't see her face so it won't ruin the mood.
amyjadee 0
And???? Take that as a complement and keep doing her.:)
deviable 9
The question is, how good looking is this dog? Are we talking Beethoven, or lassie? I hope it's the latter for OP's sake.
hannahcorrine 0
Paper bags?
Evan2297 0
Shit on the bed.
DKParth13 5
^No.
pulse18 2
I guess doggy style is out of the question..
SokDek 14
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
DeOilers 9
Just had sex reference=win
imustbeinsane 2
Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*
max_wilder 9
I thought it was a dead dog?
Sinamoi 18
Doesn't mean it wasn't a breed of dog at one point.
BSwag40 0
Hahah that's genius!
dsbs 9
Wats sex?
death_dolphin24 0
Look up **** and you'll see
flamerocker 9
What if the breed was a pug?
koolkat27 13
I'm such a horrible person but I couldn't help think of katiethesinger when you said bulldog!
ninjacutie 6
Aww man now you're making ME a bad person to! As soon as you said that I realized your exactly right. :'(
ScaughtieHolden 11
96, peas and corn?
Real_Talk21 1
things are not looking good for you in the future
Jakesterk96 8
Turn the lights off?
skoob 4
Anyone find it weird that a horny guy reminds her of her dog? *cough* beastyality - I know I spelled it wrong, shut it
wikkedphuka 0
i love ur pic of kenan in goodburger haha
ambowew 7
She needs to listen to Lonely Island. Otherwise she would have listened to the advice about putting a bag on your head. After all, it still counts.
franticravyn 7
Doesn't matter, had sex!
nixter5 18
Best 30 seconds of my life!
Torva_fml 16
...and it felt soo good.
fenixtorador1 11
I see what you did there! :D
520kzk 2
This thread made me watch that video again. FML is great advertising.
XCiT 0
She put a bag on my face
Jays7 10
You must have one hell of a f*ck face. No, that was not a compliment in any way. Sorry, OP
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
I gurantee ur face looks like a pig so stfu
koolkat27 13
99- calm down! judging by your comment, it's pretty likely that you have some self esteem issues, so I'll just give you this little piece of advice: learn to spell correctly if your going on the Internet.
SilverInGray 25
If you're going to correct someone, use correct grammar. It's you're*
ohmandapants 17
Every time I see the words **** face I think of Russell Peters making his **** face. Thanks for the inadvertent chuckles #5 Your bad comment was good for something after all.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
104 bitch seems like u should calm yourself I didn't add any "!" to my sentences.
amandavf1 0
Dude, when you guys have sex again, just make sure she's not looking at your face. Problem solved :)
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Well that's romantic
DKParth13 5
Obviously she is a virgin.
Amrel 10
Alright sexpert I will be sure to tell 'em
amandavf1 0
In 16 lol
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Well I'm 18, therefore wiser
himoonkey 8
16 and having sex?.... Havent you seen 16 and pregnant?
ohmandapants 17
Yes because if you have sex at 16 you will automatically get pregnant, there is absolutely no way of preventing this. You're an idiot. And ignorant.
Sexyhotanna 8
if she looks at your face...SHE's TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO!
Hyperion11 2
I think it's cause she misses having sex with that dead dog.
ScarletBloom 14
Something used to be not right.
Androidz 0
What the hell?
EvilLilCupcake 10
And the confusion sets in.
Amrel 10
Something must not be right*???
UrNotFunny 0
Actually, the most commonly spoken language in Singapore is probably English. I know it because I'm Singaporean and my family and friends all speak English.
koolkat27 13
I've seen this girl on FML before... there really is no excuse for this level of idiot.
line7 1
Eh. Singaporeans are fluent in English.
xstream 5
doesn't matter, had sex
btown99909 0
but I cried the whole time!
Torva_fml 16
More like blue balls..... Can't finish when your partner is crying.
manicethemage 9
I think she might have been a racist
night_ryder13 5
Still counts!
FuzzyMittens 0
Best 30 seconds of my life.
muzy 23
Now that"s an insult if ever I've heard one !
GVirdi 11
O rly?
muzy 23
ya rly -_-