Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
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Top comments
naddification 7
You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
Did she use her tears as lube?
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Comments (295)
MoreBeef 4
Tears make a fantastic lubricant.
Notyour6969_fml 1
It sounds like your girl may have been a victim of some type of sexual assault at some point in her life.. When you are having a non sexual moment try to talk to her...
bubbywaldo 0
That's probably it, that makes sense. the first thing that did in this FML!
bigggd15 3
Hahahaha Omg idk what I would do
Fmldave24 0
lol you feel lile monster
Takainthemachine 0
Ummm ok..dude pull her off!!! Ah wait...you were liking it too much...wink wink
tonygar 17
Did she ever explain why she broke out in tears?? Maybe she was so happy to be giving you a handjob she started to cry...
krsimir 0
I think thats called child molestation
guerillazinsuits 1
Maybe she had a hand cramp. Trust me it happens when you're moving it fast to keep up to your manly desires.
BOYfromBK 2
I think she cheated on you so she felt bad , and kept going because she felt like she owed it to you .
mama2b3 20
I feel like there's more to this story...