Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
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Top comments
naddification 7
You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
Did she use her tears as lube?
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Comments (295)
bubo_fml 11
Start peeing...Tell her your trying to cheer her up my making some 'golden arches!' (Doesn't McDonald's put a smile on everyone's faces?)
bubo_fml 11
Strange...My dick usually makes women laugh...FML...
alexo787 0
Tears of joy
lemonsquid 6
RAWR ROAR RAAAWRRR ROOOOAAAR ROAAR RAWWR
kurtap 0
You are
kingsley_fml 8
Was it frowning?
BTW_FML_FTW 5
She just started crying so she could use the tears as lube
evebright 5
Sexy. Must have taken awhile to finish cuz you care about her. Rare quality in a guy. You didn't rape her, so quit kicking your own arse.
mnurbina 0
Hahaha thats determination :)
Mr_S3xypants 2
Say what? You couldn't put your pecker away why?