Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
naddification 7
You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
Did she use her tears as lube?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (295)
mason012 0
It was her choice, and you got the better end
d00z3r 8
She sounds like a real..... *puts on sunglasses* tearjerker....... *YEEEAAAAHHHH*
HatredEmpowersMe 3
That might be the best comment ever
fuzz97 23
And THAT'S how you know she's a keeper, OP.
MonGuillaume 2
Obviously not hard enough.
sxdryv 14
Why the F is she crying while giving u a hj? Personally I would be the one crying, I hate Hjs they're such a tease!!! Just suck it or f@*k it!! I can give myself a hj better anyway!
eveplox 3
probably why you do so ever so often, then
CaptainPickles72 18
Personally, I'm with ya on that! I can give myself a hand-job, but I don't mind one if I know that's all I'm gonna get, or we're taking it slowly and building up. If that's the case then I'll give my tired old ***** hands a night off and let the girl do what she wants!
roseXthorns 8
Learn to ******* type. No one cares if you actually type '****'. No one wants you to use symbols or use 'u' in place of you. One last thing in my little rant; it's 'hand job' if you can't take the time to write it out instead of using a stupid acronym, then you shouldn't even be commenting. You just may come across grammar nazis like me.
ladycamo 0
MAYBE, he was trying to have some decency. But you never know, he could just be lazy like you said...
bballforward33 10
How did u do that? Whenever i drop the f bomb i get an e-mail that bans me for a month. Not kidding
TheNewGuy03 29
66, perhaps you should try to autofellate. |the kid|
blakerzz 0
**** ya!
Virginia6810 16
Not 'hard' enough? Maybe that's why she was crying...
roseXthorns 8
How ugly is it? Or maybe it's the most beautiful dick in the world and she was crying tears of joy.
geod69 8
Sweet nice girlfriend
jfarrow9703 11
Sounds like another sob story er job
Lovechild09 5
Haha, thats ****** up