Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
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Top comments
wallygolf 3
Should of told him he better last as long as a machine then
Doxy 22
The Fuckinator would make pretty awesome name for a vibrator.
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Comments (232)
cheesecakex 5
Kinky robot sex?
hubla 0
Should have gotten off and went to find batteries to shove up his ass
kazter_boy 3
FYL for having a husband who has a sense of humor.
Chad_the_Brony 0
It's the future of sex, TODAY!
joeybiguets 0
WIN
draegbomb 5
He's a machine
BuffetCrayfish3 0
Sex robot, sex robot
swimmerstud 7
They could role play off the Terminator.
japtch 15
The distant future, the year 2000.
gntfmlingnow 12
Anyone else think of American Pie?
mark5723 0
97- Sherminator
BostonBruinsFan 8
24-YOU WIN!
SaMmIMonster96 6
69- oh that was great, I am glad to know that I was not the only one thinking it :)
Superstitious 6
Sounds like a sexy Deceptacon...
DQEight 8
As long as he isn't called fisto Fallout new Vegas
sunnyskys 25
Yeess lmfao
wallygolf 3
Should of told him he better last as long as a machine then
phantumgrey 6
Lol zing!
ScaughtieHolden 11
*Should have. What do you think the "ve" in should've stands for?
Mauskau 36
Some brainiacs don't realise it's should've in the first place.
hamncheeseinit 6
Geezus I hate grammar nazis
CaptainPickles72 18
#117- Jesus*, I hate grammar nazis too! Why don't they just mind there own business.
greens_fml 5
Hail Jesus
unitedfan11 0
hey 121. their*
TunechiXXL 0
Hey 88 *realiZe
KeyboardWarrior 10
Hey 141. *ignorant. It's spelled differently in different places.
MickGold 8
Ok guys, we know what each other meant. Lay off each others asses, can ya? It's not English class, ok? Ok. Thanks:)
tellithowitis 13
Wait this isn't English class? *slowly puts away english book
sycosyd_97 1
Stop correcting other people's grammar. People don't come on her to get corrected for not writing their instead of there.
13scarlett13 4
Hey 159# it's * here not her
chinchily 12
Wow ju guyz is smurt, dont cha tink (have fun correcting me :) :p)
CaptainPickles72 18
you* guys* smart* don't* ya* think* Thanks! That was fun! :D
AmongstTheFaces 5
It's not ya. It's you
sinking_fish 12
168- ... Lol. "Is" should be "are". Don't forget about that!! :) Oh! And a comma after "Wow".
cyK0tek 0
181- You shouldn't begin a sentence with "and"!
rscizzle 0
Have
EmmyGrangerDC 0
Actually, 183, starting a sentence with 'and' is grammatically correct. It's only kindergarten through 5th grade teachers that tell you not to do that because it annoys the shit out of them.
itsaseceret 5
I'm pretty sure this isn't a site to correct. it's to be funny an stupid. Get a life.
fucktheotherguy 0
Actually 'ya' isn't a word so it would be 'you' stupid grammar nazi:D
thatsucks42 4
*and You're welcome!
sunnyskys 25
wow,*
sunnyskys 25
you missed, "wow." It is suppose to be (Wow,)*
DalPozzo13 10
I bet that killed the moment
HahaHokayThen 10
No, she obviously thought it was hot & pounced on top of him, making passionate love, putting it on FML for the world to see.
ManlyDunsparce 3
3 - YA DONT SAY?
longdislover 0
Tell him you want him to drain your fluids lol
Lovemylife1319 1
Sometimes you have to know when not to post...
sycosyd_97 1
I thought it was funny
ryanisexy 5
Atleast you weren't raped by the Terminator o.0
Meraklez1013 9
Talk about Aggressive!! 0_o
SaturnV 25
WTF?
Doxy 22
The Fuckinator would make pretty awesome name for a vibrator.
wittygirl 8
**** ya!!
Swiftly 0
Vagasaurus Rex
kkillaj 5
Vagasorous wrecks
MsCulkin 0
O.o
mxpklx 12
Or another version of the Fisto Bot. If you get the reference...
cBlackout 13
That's just so weird.. On so many levels..
niznor99 6
*robot voice* please **** *beep boop* me. Does this *beep* do it for *boop* you? DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Buttsexpirate 9
"Please insert crotch onto mine for maximum pleasure. Beep boop"
sr101998 0
Need a video of this!
CaptainPickles72 18
Look hard enough, you'll probably find a **** about robots/mechs having sex. Those Japanese are crazy when it comes to Gundam!
shireeniee 8
Hahah I immediately thought he'd say something like 'initiate fornication' in a Dalek's voice.
SookyTurner 4
I wonder if he got it from the "shermenator"
isis_morrigan 18
Easy fix, explain that if he wants to have sex, he's gotta drop the fuckinator. If he persists, get dressed, and tell him the fuckinator can do self maintenance!
RussianFox 13
A little rough for having a sense of humor in bed don't you think?
athenseric 6
Yay for Athens!
capnbzarr 43
Yeah, I was all set to click "I agree, your life sucks" until she mentioned it wasn't the first time, then I went straight to "YDI". OP, you must teach people how to treat you. You let the Fuckinator act fly once, so of course he's gonna think you don't mind.
Cuselaxer22 0
Do you have a sense of humor? At all?
isis_morrigan 18
do I have a sense of humor? why yes, I do. However, ts obvious that op isn't fond of robitic voices and the fuckinator in bed, so i offered my advice, and in my experience, men are usually quite thick headed, and it takes something a bit extremem to make a point.