Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
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Top comments
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
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Comments (105)
Badkarma4u 17
If it really bothers you stop doing it, but this sounds like some foot fetishy stuff.
xluciferx666 21
When does she let your balls out of her purse? Special occasions?
zmuz 7
OH... MY... GOD.
worldclassrager 41
If she's asleep just uncover her feet then...no need to wait three hours...or just forget it...
sNOOBie_fml 24
Um... What? Wouldn't she naturally kick it off in her sleep like everyone else does? You seem to be a very caring boyfriend, but there's also being too caring.
TacoTerrorist 15
Don't let a temporary person rule your life! Stand up and say something.
kilobravo 12
Maybe her feet are really smelly.
Richard6036 13
That don't sound whipped to me it sounds more needy than anything
Manic1 13
What gives her the right to even make such a request? Tell princess she needs to take care of herself.
EvilLittleMan 23
When did the snip snip happen?